Welcome to our Podcast
SOMETHING POSITIVE FOR POSITIVE PEOPLE
Since 2017, the SPFPP podcast has been a free resource for people navigating the emotional, relational, and social impacts of a herpes diagnosis. Through candid conversations, guests share what life looks like after testing positive—how they date, disclose, manage shame, and build relationships. You’ll hear experiences from others that reflect your own or reveal new options for moving forward.
What we talk about
Dating with Herpes
From casual sex to long-term commitment, guests share how they communicate their status and build relationships that work for them.Stigma & Identity
How people reclaim their sense of self after diagnosis and rebuild confidence on their own terms.Sexual Health
Tools for navigating safer sex, honest communication, and deeper relational alignment.Alternative Relationship Styles
Non-monogamy, queerness, and connecting beyond traditional relationship norms.Emotional Healing
Stories of grief, growth, and self-acceptance. Often, herpes is the distraction—not the root. These episodes explore the deeper patterns that diagnosis reveals.
If you’re ready to share your experience (anonymously or publicly), please fill out the podcast guest intake form below, and we’ll reach out to interview you!
Looking for something in particular?
Search below for anything you’re curious about, and don’t hesitate to contact us if you can’t find what you’re looking for.
I began consuming your podcast like it was water after walking through the desert for days. I was practically catatonic from the blow of my diagnosis, and I didn't know where to turn. I was in those initial stages of grief—somewhere between shock, denial, and anger. I won't say I was suicidal, but I did have the thought that if I died, it wouldn't really matter because my life was practically over anyway. Some months later, I learned about your SPFPP Herpes Stigma Conference in May 2024 and registered for it. I can now say I've survived one of the most difficult periods of my life—and now I'm thriving.
—J.
Episode 99: Integrative Disclosure
Navigating relationships isn't just about heading towards marriage; it's about how we relate to others. In episode 99 of SPFPP, Dr. Evelin Dacker introduces the STARS method—a conscious, intentional formula to guide important conversations around sexual health, turn-ons, boundaries, relationship intentions, and safety. This tool helps people living with herpes facilitate integrative disclosures, ensuring compatibility and communication before revealing their STI status. Download and listen now for practical advice on building healthier connections.
Episode 98: Honest Sex Ed - Protection From Deception
Episode 98 of SPFPP addresses the vital need for honest sex education, particularly within oppressed communities. Our guest, a sex educator, discusses the systemic challenges and racial dynamics that hinder effective sexual education. Through recent episodes, we've highlighted the distinct experiences of black individuals facing sexual health issues, emphasizing the necessity for comprehensive, truthful education to protect youth from deception and empower them with knowledge.
Episode 97: Normalized Dysfunction
In this powerful episode, we hear from a 25-year-old black woman who has been living with genital herpes for over 10 years. She shares her harrowing experiences of sexual abuse and the normalization of dysfunctional behaviors in her community, emphasizing the critical need for open conversations about sexual health and the elimination of secrecy to prevent abuse and support healing.
Episode 96: We Just Don't Know
In SPFPP Episode 96, Courtney Brame speaks with Dr. Lexx Brown-James about the unique challenges Black individuals face regarding herpes stigma. They delve into the history of STIs, the over-sexualization of Black bodies, and the importance of representation and trust in the healing process. This episode highlights the necessity for specialized resources to support the Black community in navigating a positive herpes diagnosis.
Episode 95: We Need to Hold Ourselves Accountable
In Episode 95 of SPFPP, we delve into the pervasive issue of stigma perpetuated by healthcare professionals, focusing on a recent incident with @codebluememes. This episode highlights the damaging effects of such judgment on patients with herpes and mental health issues, emphasizing the need for empathetic and stigma-free healthcare environments.
Episode 94: Thought Beyond the Binary
Episode 94 of SPFPP dives into the concept of queerness defined as "Thought Beyond the Binary." Host Courtney Brame and guest Liza discuss the importance of pronoun recognition, the evolution of attraction and dating, and how queer perspectives challenge traditional binary thinking. This episode sheds light on how embracing non-conformity can lead to an abundance mindset in various life aspects.
Episode 93: Branching Into Human Connection
Tyler Wilps talks to us about the Trek Coalition, an organization that overlaps into the reproductive wellness sector with us by providing cervical cancer screenings to women in Ecuador. Tyler’s organization highlights the importance and effectiveness of good humans practicing medicine. Check the show notes for how to help!
Episode 92: You Are Necessary
In this heartfelt episode, we address the serious emotional impact of a herpes diagnosis, including depression and suicide ideation. With 6% of our listeners reporting attempted suicide, this episode is a reminder that you are essential and valued. We discuss the importance of community support and our goal to present SPFPP at STD Engage to further spread awareness and provide resources.
Episode 91: Body Positivity - Actions Challenge Beliefs
Trigger warning: this episode covers domestic abuse. We focus on self-image and body positivity. Check your self-talk and challenge negative thoughts with loving actions. Help us by taking a survey to support SPFPP’s goal of making support easier to find for those diagnosed with herpes. Special guest Emily "Keanunani" Arnstein shares her journey from struggling with self-image to empowering others through body positivity and Hawaiian hula.
Episode 90: Vulnerability is a Guard Dropper
How does the masculine deal with a herpes diagnosis?
Episode 89: Choose Yourself and Step Into Your Power
One of my favorite people I've yet to meet in real life, Christie Federico, Sexuality & Soul Alignment Coach joins SPFPP for a very lighthearted, fun conversation about self-worth. Applied to dating, it is important to know who you are, what's important to you, and have ways to identify if what's important to you is also important to prospective partners. Get this dating advice from a dating coach and if you're someone who'd like support in your dating life, don't hesitate to reach out to Christie about coaching! About Christie: Christie Federico, M.Ed., is a Relationship + Sexual Empowerment Coach. She works with individuals and groups, helping them feel confident and fully expressed in their bodies, sexualities, and entire lives. Christie empowers her clients to align all aspects of their lives with their authentic selves so they can lead a life of meaning, deep connection, pleasure, and fulfillment. Visit www.christiefederico.com and follow her on Instagram @christiefederico. If you have the means and want to support what we're doing at SPFPP, visit www.spfpp.org and consider donating what you can to help us continue to expand. Stay Sex Positive!
Episode 88: Perspective From My Ex's
In this episode, we delve into the valuable lessons learned from past relationships. By examining experiences with anxiety and emotional expression, we explore how these insights can fuel personal growth and expansion of perspective. Tune in to discover what your exes might teach you about yourself and your journey.
Episode 87: Positive Bisexuality & an Ever-Evolving Exqueerience
In this episode, Soraia Papaya (she/they) joins SPFPP to discuss bisexuality, stereotypes, and the push toward pansexuality. We delve into topics like hyper promiscuity, inherent nonmonogamy, and transphobia, offering insights into how these misconceptions affect bisexual individuals. Tune in to challenge your assumptions and foster deeper, more evolved connections.
Episode 86: Dear Activists, Take Care of Yourselves
In this episode of Something Positive for Positive People, Ella Dawson discusses her powerful herpes activism, including her TEDx Talk, "STIs aren’t a consequence. They’re inevitable." We dive into the challenges and emotional labor of activism, and explore the stereotypes and erasure faced by bisexual individuals. Listen in for a candid conversation on self-care for activists.
Episode 85: Have Your Kink and Eat it Too
In Episode 85 of Something Positive for Positive People, Veronica Yanhs, a multi-passionate Kink & BDSM Educator, explores the complexities of kink, from disclosure of herpes status in kink scenes to differentiating between dominance and abuse. Veronica's insights challenge personal beliefs about kink, helping listeners begin their own journey of self-discovery.
Episode 84: Something Positive for Negative People - Release and Live
In Episode 84 of Something Positive for Positive People, Billy shares his experience of supporting a partner with a positive HIV status. This episode offers valuable insights for those considering dating someone with a positive STI status and addresses the challenges of discordant relationships. Billy's story emphasizes the importance of understanding and support in such situations.
Episode 83: Become Your Own Advocate
In Episode 83 of Something Positive for Positive People, Lindsey discusses her experience with cytomegalovirus (CMV) during pregnancy. Despite repeatedly alerting her doctor that something was wrong, she was dismissed until she later found out she had been exposed to CMV. Lindsey's story highlights the importance of being your own health advocate, especially in a political climate where reproductive rights are restricted.
Episode 82: Defining Unscripted Relationships - Use Your Words
In Episode 82 of Something Positive for Positive People, Dr. Stephanie K. Webb explores the intricacies of non-monogamous relationships. She defines cheating in non-monogamy, discusses the difference between love and commitment, and explains the concepts of compulsory monogamy and ethical monogamy. This episode is a valuable resource for anyone curious about or interested in opening their relationship.
Episode 81: Casual Disclosure
In Episode 81 of Something Positive for Positive People, Adrienne Rommel discusses the complexities of casual dating with herpes. She shares her experiences of disclosing and not disclosing her status to partners in Bali, the varied responses she received, and how this impacts her mindset and dating approach. This episode is essential for understanding the nuances of dating with a positive herpes status and making empowered decisions.
Episode 80: It Could Always Be Better
In Episode 80 of Something Positive for Positive People, Johana Dominguez shares insights from her 8-year journey living with genital HSV. Key takeaways include the power of positive self-talk, the importance of supportive relationships, and the value of sharing your status. Johana emphasizes that while things can always be worse, they can also always be better, and encourages listeners to adopt a proactive and positive mindset.