SPFPP 355: What Releasing Herpes Stigma Can DO
I removed the previous podcast episode here at the guest’s request in hopes that any other podcast hosting platform will hit the refresh button, causing this to overwrite it. So ya’ll pray for me because the internet is a wild place. I speak about the importance of releasing attachments especially when they take form in a way that can influence our identity. I always quote my man Brok from God of War, “The nature of a thing is more important than the form of a thing” and what a statement. The nature of things give form, and the natural rhythm is to attach, but evolution requires a release. When it comes to herpes stigma, we look up, have a diagnosis and are instantaneously attached to the form of it. All this happens unconsciously because that’s just the nature of our rhythm. Now, consciously, we can choose to release the form by giving presence to what moreso aligns with our true core identity as expressions of our purpose, and what happens is that energy frees up and takes new form in a way that is more reflective of our identity.
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Description text goeCourtney Brame: Hello, welcome to Something Positive for Positive People. I'm Courtney Brain. Something Positive for Positive People is a 501c3 nonprofit organization supporting people navigating herpes stigma. Today is in the future, actually, if you're listening to this episode, which is episode 355 of Something Positive for Positive People. This is really a check-in, up-to-date thing. Someone had requested that I remove their podcast episode, which I've done, but unfortunately, the internet is the internet, and other podcast platforms that I didn't even know existed, were able to capture the feed, and even though I removed it from the feed, I guess whenever they go to update or refresh the feed, it won't clear itself out, so there's a lot of stuff, on this particular guest that is out there, so we are overriding that, replacing it with something else.
So today is November 26th, 2025, and I guess maybe that's a good topic for this place that is timely and relevant at this point, which is being open in advocacy and, I guess, some of the consequences or potential outcomes of that. For myself, it's never really been an issue. People always call me brave, and I'm not thinking that that's what it is. It's really more about being privileged, in the sense that I don't have to worry about what my employers are gonna think of me, or any drama of people that I work with in an office setting, if they were to find out that I have herpes. I don't see this as a bad thing, and I think because I don't see it as a bad thing, other people won't see it as a bad thing. Not to say that that isn't the case, but for myself, if I were, say, looking for a job, or if I were employed already, I like to think that for where I am now in my life, that I would just not want to work anyplace that would discriminate against me, or shit-talk me, or anything like that, because of my herpes status.
I like to believe that, but for somebody who maybe isn't there, or who maybe was really enthusiastic and excited about the idea of starting or sharing their personal story and experience on a platform that is dedicated to supporting people living with herpes, that isn't the case. So, I thought long and hard about this, and this seems like an appropriate place to go ahead and name that I'm gonna be working to get to episode 400. So, we are, at this point, 395 numerical podcast episodes are listed on the feed. We got 5 more episodes to record, and then that's it. I'm not including this one as one of those recordings, because my strategy here is to just overwrite the previous content with this, so that, my friend's name is erased from the internet in association with herpes stigma, because we've been trying to get this situated for, I think, months now, and it's unfortunate that he has some unfortunate circumstances happening in relation to bullying, so I want to do everything I can to help my man get situated.
But, yeah, I think, in my experience, being open about my herpes status has not presented any negatives. If they have, I don't know them. And I like to be really upfront about that. If people don't like that I have herpes, I don't think I hear from them. But I do hear from the people who are grateful that I've shared my experience.
I went to and hosted, or I facilitated a conversation at a polyamorous meetup group, and there were about 12 or 13 of us there, and you could hear in how people were asking their questions, they were trying to filter whether or not it was safe, and then over time, you just heard, I have herpes, I have herpes, I have herpes, I had a situation, right? And the room just really was able to connect and bond, and you felt some stuff released from people, because they've been able to talk about this in a public setting, openly, in an intentional, I don't believe in safe spaces, in an intentional space, and experience some capacity of healing. And that's… I live for that shit. I live for that. I live for people to be able to express themselves, because for so long, I haven't been able to express myself.
And so at this polyamorous meetup group, someone was able to express her frustrations with the fact that she has HSV1, and people who also have HSV-1 or a cold sores are very discriminatory… discriminative? They discriminate towards her because they don't have it, quote, down there. And she expressed that frustration, because she's like, well, you don't disclose that you have oral herpes, why should I disclose that I have the same kind of herpes? And I was like, yo, that's valid. You are very valid in your frustration, and I also want to offer that the way that we feel about it, if, you know, if you're okay with somebody withholding information that they have, and not telling you, hey, I got this, before y'all had sex, then that's… that's you. That's in alignment with your values.
However, people do not, and this was a point that she was making, people don't share that they have oral herpes, and people just make out, and it's interesting that that is so accepted, and it's why I also say that there's not really a herpes stigma, there's a sexual… there's a stigma, towards sex. Herpes just so happens to get the secondhand effect of that, because herpes is a sensually transmitted infection, and if people knew the difference between sexual contact and sensual contact, I think that we'd be looking at this from a different lens, completely.
But… the reason that I share about the story, me being at the polyamorous support group is because that very woman was able to name that frustration, let it out, and I don't think that she's gonna go on and not tell people about her herpes, but she's definitely not going to, you know, feel ashamed about it and keeping it to herself. She's gonna be able to talk about it from a place of a little bit more acceptance, understanding, integrity, and I wish that for her. I really, truly wish that for her.
I'm thinking about somebody here that I need to send a text message to. I'm at my hometown in St. Louis now, and… Hey, how are you? Let me just ask that, there we go. I'm in my hometown in St. Louis for Thanksgiving, and I'm in the gym. There was some… the tornado damage was in this whole neighborhood, so I'm sitting down, and I see, like, there's still construction going on, and this was May 16th, so we're 6 months later, and the top of this apartment complex has been replaced, but there's still a lot of damage that looks like it just hadn't been repaired. You see, glass still kind of shattered, some fences are up, but that had nothing to do with anything in relation to this episode.
I'm not telling people to go and be a herpes education advocate, or to be open about your status with the world, but I do want to extend the invitation for people to just consider what would your life look like if you didn't have this specific thing to hide. If you weren't hiding your herpes status, if you were to be able to just live in a place of unconditional acceptance for yourself. What does that look like?
For me, it looks like having found a career that I very much love and enjoy. I connect with people at all levels, from all different walks of life. Herpes doesn't discriminate. Whether you're Black or not Black, man or not man, whether you're different political views, religion, spirituality, none of that shit matters. Income levels. We all are, in fact, connected at this level of the nervous system, because we share this experience.
And this experience comes with collections of patterns and the opportunities to either stay within those patterns of beliefs, or to do something different that challenges those beliefs, for us to be able to establish new patterns, new neural pathways. You see when they do all those zoom-ups of neurons firing and wiring together? Like, that's the shit that we're doing. When we start to look at our herpes status and the way that we talk to ourselves and how we treat ourselves.
Because this is not… this ain't… this ain't… this doesn't have to be the end. It doesn't have to be the end of your dating life, your relationship, how you do your career, or any aspect of your identity. This can, in fact, be a catalyst to propel you forward into being able to get learning experiences that you otherwise wouldn't have been able to get.
And I speak later on the raw material of attachments. And there's this natural rhythm in the world of, we attach, we release. Attach, release, attach, release. And the attachment just organically happens. It unfolds naturally, and you find that you look up, and there are things that have taken form around you. On this micro level, right, we're individuals. On a macro level, we are all part of this collective, right?
So, the attach-release process is just the pulsing of the universe. You think about how our heart beats, right? There's a compression, relaxation, a compression, relaxation. And in that rhythm, what happens is blood circulates. Life happens. And even with the planets, the solar system, right? The sun's rotating, and it's probably got something similar going on in the rhythm of its radiance, of a contraction and expansion. Relaxation was the word I used, but I mean contraction, expansion. Traction, expansion. And it's just in this pattern shape.
So, the manifestation of what our life experiences are stemming from that light representation of what atoms do. Electrons, protons, neutrons, right? Like, you'll hear me talk about it more, and especially as I get better with using the language, I think that it'll very clearly speak volumes to the importance of finding your own natural rhythm in life, attaching and releasing.
Because for me, I had such an attachment to herpes stigma that when it became prevalent, and I didn't, you know, fit the mold of the kind of person who submits to the attachment that is herpes stigma, I release that shit. It takes form. Like, what we emotionally invest in takes form. Whether that be from our money, attention, energy, time, right? The form takes.
And when that form takes, it's because maybe we weren't consciously attached, but we were attached to it. And as we grow and evolve and change, and as we pick up things in our orbit that change the structure of our atom, our anatomy—not just our physical anatomy, I mean, also spiritual, mental, emotional anatomy—the world around us has to respond to that.
So, in letting go and releasing one attachment, you free up that energy of what you've emotionally invested to be able to make its way into whatever outlets you have, or even into yourself for you to be able to fuel other things happening around you for them to take new form. But we gotta be willing to release, right? So that form becomes solid and firm, but we’ve gotta keep it malleable, keep it more like clay or fluid, so to speak.
Right? And herpes stigma since letting go of that has given me a life that I never would have been able to imagine for myself. I've got interviewing skills, I found myself in the education space, I'm teaching med students to get genital exams, I'm the happiest that I can say I've been in a really long time. I'm able to consistently operate the nonprofit organization, I'm able to dance. I'm doing all of these things that, had it not been for the process of attach release, attach release, I wouldn't be where I'm at right now.
And I just share this here because you can be here, too, if you release your attachment to stigma. And what does that release mean? What does that look like? Well, you can either do some YouTubing and Googling and researching, or you can reach out to me, like, we can schedule a one-on-one support call. If you got a question specifically about that and the process of it, we can go into yoga therapy. I'm a yoga therapist in training still, but by the time, you know, next year comes around, I'm gonna be certified.
But I really do wanna free up the space that is this podcast platform. It's just been a lot of things that, like, similar to having guests request that I take their podcast episodes now, I think that there's been enough conversations. I think that I'm gonna wrap up the last five. I got one conversation lined up with somebody, and the rest just might be me talking about things that I've learned in a series of podcast episodes to just sum that up.
But it's been a wonderful run, and not to say that this is goodbye forever, by any means, but this is the opportunity to free up what has been 8 years of energetic investment, money, time, finances—or I said money—yeah, being able to free it up and see what unfolds and where it goes. I'm excited for it, I'm looking forward to it, and I hope to be able to support you in that as well.
But the process of doing this, the best way that I can describe it is to recognize who you are without that thing's presence. So, if herpes stigma wasn't there, can you imagine what you would do with the emotional intensity that you have invested in stigma? What happens if you lift the form, and what does that energy look like? What does what you've invested, the prescription medications, the avoidance of conversations, the time that you might have spent scrolling and looking for information—what if you were to just free up that energy from the form of herbicism? What would you apply it to?
What would you apply to? I've been applying mine to relationships, friendships, dancing, traveling, making money, being successful, experiencing my passion. And it's paying off, it's changing me, right? When we release, we're allowing for ourselves to take a new form in the change, whereas when we hold on to attachments, the resistance to change forces us into stagnance, which—that I told you is supposed to be fluid—we become very rigid, we become very callous, we become very form-focused. And the nature of the thing is more important than the form of a thing, per my man Brock from God of War Ragnarok.
So, it's important that we do that. It's important that we practice attach, release, attach, release. And my advocacy is…it has shifted a while ago from being exclusively about herpes stigma to expanding into stigma and identity, but it's got a lot more of a spiritual element to it now, and I think that for where I am in life now, that's the most important piece, is to be a reminder to people to connect with that part of yourself, to connect with that part of existence, because the attach-release thing, that's a spiritual practice. It's something that you can find in yoga teachings, you can find it in the Bible, you can find it in various religious textures and scripts. Texture? Literature. I meant to say literature. Oh, man.
So, that's it, that's what I'll leave us with here. I just wanted to create a replacement podcast episode, so hopefully this goes through. And yeah, if you haven't already, please check out Something Positive for Positive People, www.spfpppp.org, for herpes support resources, and hopefully, you know, over the years, it evolves into something that allows for us to do things in person. If we can get enough people to show up, I'm down for it. Alright, y'all, till next time, stay present.s here
