SPFPP Episode 173: Neutralizing Toxicity - Controlling Connection

Closing out Black History month with another Black guest, myself woop woop. I didn't even realize I did that this month but I'm glad it happened this way.

I discuss my own experiences with toxicity in relationships and how the inability to express emotions outside sex has been a challenge for me. I learned that my exertion of control through sex with partners is perhaps a trauma response over the safety of safely expressing emotions. The toxicity of this form of manipulation was neutralized through flat out being challenged by my Partner who called me out on it. This led me to realize that it isn't sex I want to control, it's the connection. I'm learning to let go of control by simply setting boundaries and trust that they'll be respected. This was a liberating discovery about myself and I thought it was worth sharing here, in my other safe vehicle of emotional expression, Something Positive for Positive People.

Other important bits:

• Maybe Polyamory isn’t a fitting title

• Connection and disconnection with partners looking like WiFi vs ethernet port

• Listening to Intuition

• Other vehicles of emotional expression for connection