SPFPP 239: Manifesto
I've put a pause on my social media posting for Something Positive for Positive People in order to make space for awareness of actions to take regarding the Supreme Court overturning Roe v Wade which protected people's access to abortion. Herpes conversations take the back seat because to human rights and it just doesn't feel right posting as if nothing happened, or is happening.
This manifesto began as what was supposed to just be a journal entry, but it felt like things bubbling up inside me were able to come to my awareness as the pen rolled over the paper. The women around me emphasized the silence of men heavily and with some conversations, I realize there's a major distrust in the masculine on the liberal side of things, whereas the conservative side doesn't have that. Rebuilding trust in the masculine requires the masculine to be vulnerable and identify itself apart from the language we've given to it limiting it only in relation to pursuing wholeness through the reconnecting to the feminine.
Now that this has made its way through me, I feel a shift that I can't describe. I feel better about reengaging on social media now.
Episode 239 Transcript
The Concept of Masculinity and the Illusion of Separation
00:00:00 Courtney Brame: What is masculinity? To answer this question, I have to just let this pen roll. Masculinity by language describes a divisive force of existence into a binary of being. All that came before my life simply existed. No language, no othering, all just existed in its purest essence. Perhaps out of necessity came the defining of this expression of allness in relation to itself, splitting it into a binary to experience itself. This split of all or wholeness likely from boredom more than necessity cause a need for understanding. When wholeness is split, it doesn't recognize the other, nor does it recognize itself. Therefore, it not only needs to understand, it needs to understand itself. And it needs to understand itself apart from the understanding of its binary split. When I latch masculinity to this way of interpretation, it by default is defined as not whole or incomplete. But it didn't become that until I gave a definition. The definition of masculinity as incomplete comes with the expectation of it to pursue wholeness.
00:01:58 Courtney Brame: In pursuing wholeness, a lot of what has to be defined with my limiting use of language. As I attempt to say what masculinity is, I think what's more valuable in defining masculinity is that I'm asking the question and attempting to answer it. My body is resistant to leading with words because this alone is an act of expression which language labeled as incomplete for it to be whole/complete only in the presence of what makes it the name assigned to it for understanding. I said that way too slow. That was supposed to be one sentence. In its split from wholeness, what we call masculinity is on a trajectory. What's misguided about masculinity is this idea that it needs to chase wholeness only in association with that which it is separated from rather than this being a journey or pursuit of wholeness within itself. Is masculinity perpetual or is it on a perpetual journey of self-meaning exclusively in relation to the feminine? Is masculinity doomed to its own torture and demise as it seeks completion by emerging with this feminine?
00:03:33 Courtney Brame: Is there no liberation, evolution, peace, pleasure, connection for the masculine but through the lens of the feminine? When masculinity turns its pursuit internally, what do we see expressed? We see trust. We see safety. We see protection, leadership, assertiveness, intentionality, community, cohesiveness, safety to heal. Not just for itself, but also for its disengagement from the feminine. for it too to go on this inward journey to find wholeness within itself through this perceived illusion where each force is given the task of pursuing wholeness only to learn that there is more to discover within and then naturally the two halves become whole separately and then naturally they find their way to connect creating a new whole that cannot be defined by language. An upleveled healing divine force. Where did this come from? I don't know. I was sitting at my friend's place at the table. She went to do something and I had my notebook right there and I just put my pen to paper and I started writing.
The Black Men's Wellness Symposium and Re-evaluating Masculinity
00:05:05 Courtney Brame: Um, I happen to not have work right now. I happen to not have anything that needs to be done for the podcast or the nonprofit. So, in this moment of just not being distracted by any other thoughts and not whipping out my phone and scrolling through Instagram or Tik Tok, I just had this come through my pen and it was just an urge. It was an impulsive urge to write. And this concept, this ideology of thinking about masculinity has been bubbling up within me for probably 2 weeks that I've noticed it after having attended a Black men's wellness symposium and hearing them first speak about vulnerability, which was great. It was amazing to hear them talk about vulnerability. I got to be in a room full of Black men. I got to hear uh one in particular talk about suicide, ideation, um and how uh he broke the generational curse of like his his own father. Like he wasn't like his dad.
00:06:16 Courtney Brame: He wanted to be a great dad. He talked about how his kid saved his life and what his life looks like now. He's an author. But after that, the panel uh expanded. more Black men came up and the host changed and the conversation shifted from vulnerability to masculinity and it started out without any definition that was like a baseline that was set and for perspective it's it's six Black men um three or four were older and mentioned having grown up in church or being old school if you will and when they spoke Um the the first person to answer probably was the worst person to ask about masculinity because he immediately jumped to sex and jumping into like what people choose to do with their uh genitals and who they choose to share that experience with. And I got mad and like you could feel the room just kind of get turned off. Um, and for me, I was taking notes and I wrote that I was like, why does masculinity always, at least within the spaces that I dwell in, have to be defined in association with sex, in association with sexuality.
00:07:37 Courtney Brame: And we immediately go into this division of straight versus LGBT, right? And that's what I saw happening. And it was something that made me just realize the importance of um not defining masculinity and saying this is the Bible of men to follow, but to really look at it and like uh more so unlearn it in the sense of the language and the labeling and everything that we've given it. And I feel like that's where this manifesto came from with the overturning of Row vs. Wade, which I don't know how timeless this podcast will be, but um Row verse Wade essentially protected abortion rights and access to abortion um for everyone in the United States of America. and Friday uh June … what's today? Today's the 28th. So 27, 26, 25, 24… June 24th I believe uh 2022 uh this was overturned. So now each individual state … right now there’s 50. I don't know how long it'll be like if somebody finds a way in the future.
Roe v. Wade, Action, and White Supremacy as a Patriarchal Construct
00:09:09 Courtney Brame: So, that'd be cool. But, um there's 50 states and each state will now be responsible for choosing whether or not to offer abortions. And this topic has made me shift from posting consistently about herpes related information, sexual health information on my social media pages because I wanted to make space and not take up space, you know, showing that I'm living my life and that I'm advocating for herpes education and sexual health education. Like I've felt compelled to share information that's circulating while yeah majority of people who follow me I'm just sharing things with them that they already agree with. Um, and what I'm learning is more importantly what's happening is that I'm showing them a sense of allyship, a sense of support, and I find that like that's all they need. And what I was really struggling with at first was there's no action to be taken. And I don't know if that's like an inherently masculine thing for me or if that's inherently a human thing for me, but like I don't really have um patience for not taking action for anything that isn't action driven.
00:10:44 Courtney Brame: I look at memes and the circulation of memes and about the Handmaid's Tail, which is interesting enough, um, The Handmaid's Tail is a movie that essentially highlights the direction that we're heading, but people aren't talking about that. It's really the direction that we've been, especially with uh, women of color, Black women, brown women, um, essentially being dominated by men, like a society that was dominated by men... uh and objectified woman women not objectified but like put them into this um sort of like routine ritual. This order was created because women's bodies just weren't their own and it belonged to the wealthy. It belonged to the families of rich people, politicians. Um you can probably find it but um yeah there's no mention. Everyone's like circulating memes about the hammocks with the white man characters and not or the main character who is the protagonist, the hero if you will, but there's no like mention of the things that are really going on if you look at um someone I forget what his name is, but it's on TikTok and I shared his post today, but he really brought this home and like made me go “aha” to this.
00:12:08 Courtney Brame: Um, but he was talking about how, you know, white women in exchange for privilege will also oppress women. And, uh, Charity Croft was on this podcast called Man Enough. And I remember hearing him say that white women and Black men are both the oppressor and the oppressed. When we look at white supremacy, white supremacy is a patriarchal construct that white men have all the power. So, there's whiteness and there's manliness. So, Black men have oppressors in the sense that we are men. White women are oppressors in the sense that they are women. And Black men are oppressed because they're Black. And white women are oppressed because they're women. So, looking at it from that um standpoint, uh I'm beginning to drift too far in the directions that I wasn't trying to go right here. Uh so getting back on track, the thought of what kind of action can I take in support of the women around me who clearly are impacted by this, who are not seeing people who may feel as if they're not impacted.
The Extremes of Liberal and Conservative Politics
00:13:34 Courtney Brame: by this doing anything. And I find that like in many cuz I've had many conversations with people who are women who either are beating down. I think everybody's beaten down at this point. You know, it's just been like a constant beating down and then something big just happens to strip us away. like we're still in a global pandemic that is not seeming to really go away or be managed well. There's gun violence out the woo-ha that um is just not being addressed. And it's like our government makes this thing a priority of all the things that are happening. And what it is at this point is that there's two sides. There are two extremes. Let me say that. So, we've got the side of the liberals who are pro-choice, meaning that everyone should have a right to abortion. Like I, if I ask for an abortion, I should get an abortion. And then there's the complete opposite side, which is the conservatives.
00:14:48 Courtney Brame: If you think liberation and then conserve, uh, you got ultimate freedom to do and be whatever, whoever, and then you've got ultimate order, if you will, to know everything needs to be this way. Like these two forces essentially that are polarized. And that's what we have here. In looking at what action to be taken, I've not been able to find anything like the the politics and the the the the politics in themselves like they're not making any sense to be completely honest. like why is this thing a priority? And as I scroll through my social media feeds, I'm from St. Louis, Missouri. I live in Portland, Oregon now, but back home I was friends with um. I grew up playing football with a lot of different people who did not align with me and my beliefs and values. So, as I scroll through social media, I see what some of these people are posting and how this is such a victory that no child will ever be murdered again after we just had a school shooting where elementary school kids were murdered and there's no vocalizations for a reform of gun violence.
00:16:30 Courtney Brame: And there's a lot of different points that are being made uh on the fact that the government is prioritizing the wrong thing. If people on the conservative side really were for life, being anti-abortion wouldn't be a fit because there are so many reasons that people get abortions. And the way that I'm seeing it as I look at the conservative side, these people genuinely believe that people on the liberal side really just want to do whatever they want and that they're just getting abortions out of a hobby. Like it's a hobby. Um, I listened to um I think it was uh the female senator of the House of the Senate. The Senate of Utah. Senator of Utah. Wow. And she said she believes and she believes that women need to be responsible women are responsible for letting a man ejaculate in them and get them pregnant. And what that statement said to me was that there's no way she can believe that that's how people get pregnant.
00:17:55 Courtney Brame: There's no way because first off, it's a sex education underlying thing there. Like you don't know that you can still get pregnant without jack ejaculation having to happen. Two, you also don't know that you are in such a place of privilege where you are so first off potentially unattractive and undesired and you are secure in your marriage. You are benefiting from white privilege and selling out like your fellow women because women are assaulted. Women don't control when men come. Like I don't even do that. And that is such a trickle down effect that is going to eventually evolve into when a woman gets raped because it's going to continue to happen. The question is going to be, she's the kind of person who would ask, well, what were you wearing? Well, what did you do to bring this on to yourself? Like putting the responsibility on the woman and how she made it sound is just like you people are just murdering babies. Like I think that they literally envision a baby that is being just stabbed to death in the hand of the doctor and that is the one-sided tunnel vision focus that they have.
00:19:25 Courtney Brame: There is no wiggle room for negotiation of ectopic pregnancy where um I believe the baby's stuck in fallopian tubes as it is the fetus in the fallopian tubes which can kill both the unborn baby and the mother. So, and abortion being the treatment for that, like the conservative side is not trying to hear it. They genuinely believe and I very strongly believe in the power of belief no matter who it belongs to. I believe that a person, a force, a community of people who believe so heavily in what they believe in, they get it done. They get it done. And I absolutely am afraid of what this conservative mind thought process is capable of because they are so very well united. And I look at, you know, the liberal side of things and there is such a division. You know, when Donald Trump was elected president in 2000, what was that? 16. Yeah, 2016. Donald Trump was elected president of the United States.
The Immovable Object vs. The Unstoppable Force
00:20:55 Courtney Brame: Was it 2016 or 2018? I don't remember which year it was. It was an election year. All right. I'm not real good with dates. And today or um a couple of days ago, there was a Republican rally. I can't call it a Trump rally, but um this woman says she was like, "Thank you, Donald Trump, for all your hard work and preserving white life." Like, they ain't even being subtle about racism anymore. They're not even being subtle about the white supremist like cult. The way that these people are organized. They're like they have a code that they operate under. And this code is a universal code that calls, you know, if you even if you got a Black wife, husband, mixed babies, even if you're uh redneck in poverty, even if you're a hip-hop artist, if your skin is white, then like these are it's like an instant um what the sleeper coat or something.
00:22:16 Courtney Brame: If you've ever watched Captain America: Winter Soldier or any of the like you'll see that Bucky, Captain America's best friend slashside, he was like a sleeper soldier, the Winter Soldier. And when you say a sequence of words to him, he wakes up and becomes a servant to whatever mission or task he is assigned to do. And when he wakes up from that, then he's like he has no he wasn't able to control himself, but like he completed the mission. And I feel like what the conservative party has is that sort of code that wakes people up to go and vote and put these policies in place and inspire the action between them. Because whenever there's a quote victory, that's where all these people come out of the woodworks. Like people I played football with, I shook hands with, I did, I drank with, I fought with, cried with. The second that an announcement of a white victory, if you will, occurs, or a victory in relation to whatever the Conservative Party's agenda is, these people make it known that they support it, that they were happy about it, that they couldn't wait for it to happen.
00:23:40 Courtney Brame: And it just, this is again just like a more of a trinkle down effect. you know, they overturned Row verse Wade, making abortion illegal, banning abortion, and then announced that there are some other things that need to be reviewed, such as um gay marriage, uh such as uh LGBT sex, I guess. And I'm like, damn, first off, can they do that? And actually, yeah, they can. And if they can do that, then we can enter into a place of segregation. Now, all of this stuff has been going on, but it's been subtle. Like, look at red lining, where there are communities that are clearly impoverished that like no Black people are in these neighborhoods or no uh no white people want to be in these Black neighborhoods. And even in like the there may be something sprinkled in there, but like now we're really going back to where it's blatant and it's not subtle anymore. And the way that I watch how people who are on the conservative side interact, engage, communicate, they really like that the masculine presence is trusted.
00:25:01 Courtney Brame: It leads. It is organized. And the feminine will submit to the masculine even at the expense of the feminine because of this order like they find freedom in the order that the masculine protects if you will. So there's freedom within this order of existence. And as long as you subscribe to and serve and have white skin in that um container, you're safe. You can heal. You can do everything. You can do whatever you want. But whenever that code is announced, you have to abide by it in order to maintain your privilege. And this is why it's so hard for white women to let go of and do what's right because of the benefits that come with that privilege of all right yeah you know you'll let your husband do whatever he wants to you and all you got to do is make sure that he keeps his power. So even if that comes at the expense of disempowering other women, disempowering other communities of people, disempowering yourself, foregoing freedoms and the protection of well, is there really protection in the government of our liberties and freedoms?
00:26:29 Courtney Brame: I don't know anymore, man. But I know that the priority appears to be profit. How profitable is it to you? Because like these these women in these communities, they're gonna if they get raped, they will have access to an abortion. They have an unwanted pregnancy. They can get an abortion. They got the resources. They got the money. They got the people who can make this happen. But Black and Brown communities on the other hand, the people who like whose voices are not being uplifted. I listened to the song by Tupac Shakur. Brenda's Got a Baby. Tupac is spelled T U P A C Shakur S H A K U R. Name of the song is Brenda's Got a Baby. Please listen to that song so that you can hear the voices that are not being included in this conversation. The people who represent these communities are not even being acknowledged and represented.
00:27:29 Courtney Brame: Like we're talking about and in the song there's um an incest survivor who is has to go through her pregnancy and they talk about how the community, her family, friends, the people around her engaged with her to the point where she ended up having to throw the baby in the trash. If she knew what her options were and had options such as first off like being able to say, "Hey, I am being molested." But if she's even if she's being molested and uh raped by a family member, where's she gonna go? Who's going to believe her? And this is a situation too where all right, if I leave, where am I going to go? What am I going to do? Like I need the money because I'm in an impoverished community. I'm also young. I can't get a job. So where are the resources to help Brenda and from that? Where are the resources to help Brenda from uh escape from her abuser, her rapist, her family member rapist?
00:28:33 Courtney Brame: Where are the resources that she could even go and get any sort of contraceptive or to even know that she was pregnant? So, we have a community where education is already terrible and sex education is non-existent. Even at her age, people are like, "Oh, well, kids shouldn't be having sex." Okay, that is not always a choice. That is not always something that we even know that we're doing. And kids will get real creative. You tell us, you tell kids not to do something, they're going to find a way to do it, they'll do something else. And so the lack of resources and education in that community, in these communities, and Brenda's specifically is a prime example, man, of this being something that needs to be addressed. Like conservative, they're the conservatives in their order. And no matter what, like I had a conversation with a woman who, you know, said that she wants to talk about herpes and uh help heal people. And still she was able to like quote the Bible and say that gay marriage is wrong or like gay people are going to hell because they're sinners.
Liberal Division and the Lack of Trust in the Masculine
00:29:55 Courtney Brame: And I was just like, what? Like how can you say you want to help these people, help people, but then you other the LGBT community as sinners and say that they're not worthy of the same piece that you feel entitled to. Now mind you, this was a white woman. So I even ask questions like getting her to say out loud why these things that she's saying don't make sense. You can see the wheels turning in her head. And I know that my liberal friends would have been ready to call her all kinds of names and fight, but like we've got to do things a little bit different than that. We don't have what the conservative side has. They have resources. They got money. They have more than anything cohesiveness. But you know what? We clearly got numbers. Clearly, we have this space. We have the internet, y'all. The conservative people, they use the internet in the way that they use the internet.
00:31:01 Courtney Brame: They stay together. They stay cohesive. They collaborate. They manipulate the system. And then we have us like so many people who value liberation. We value evolution. We value peace. And what I'm learning is that for the liberation that we want, the freedoms that we want, there has to essentially be a force that can combat the force of conservatives because there's strength in numbers, right? Why do so few people run the country? Because their only opposition is so disconnected. It's scattered. Our attention is we got sports, we got entertainment, we got music, we got art, we have um the the news, pop culture, celebrities, and then in addition to that, we have our own like infighting, you know, one of the um uh I think I can call I can call this person a friend. Now, I had a conversation with a trans man who uh I have conversations especially since the overturning of Ro versus Wade with this transman who's also a therapist and we were talking about masculinity and we were talking about um it it broke out into how this conversation about abortion is very much what's a good for scattering us.
00:32:33 Courtney Brame: Yeah, scattering. That was the word. Even more. And it's just highlighting what's already been going on, which has been the scattering of um it's it's human rights. So, trans people have been fighting for human rights and have been oppressed and not heard for years and years and years. And all of a sudden, bam, as soon as women's rights are threatened, we've now got men who are speaking up for women and that we're making this a gendered thing, which then allows for us to further others. And in that othering, there's this separation even further, right? And as described in the manifesto, like I'm I'm working through this to bring it all together. The masculine presence, the masculine presence in the conservative side of the othering is a force. It is an immovable object. The masculine presence on the liberal side is non-existent. The masculine presence on the liberal side is not trusted. They’re not trusted.
00:33:50 Courtney Brame: It's not respected. It's not able to do its job. And I listen to a lot of podcast or read a lot of books and there's this concept of the wounded masculine and all this other s***, but ultimately what it comes down to is that there is not a force like power, not power versus force, I'm sorry. Um, and what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? People probably think like a big explosion, the big bang theory, a reset. No. What happens when an unstoppable force moves uh meets an immovable object is that they yield. They yield. The Conservative Party is an immovable object. And the reason that you know it is able to dominate culture and keep us where we are and maintain the status quo is because we the people, the unstoppable force, are disconnected. We're scattered. We're unable to mobilize. We're unable to commute. That immovable object of conservatism is how the masculine force presents itself there.
00:35:17 Courtney Brame: It provides for the conservatives. It protects them. It protects their way of existing, the way that they want to exist. It's negotiated what their freedoms are. Like in that space, white men can probably do whatever they want. Arguably, they can do whatever they want. like looking at people who shoot up grocery stores full of Black people who uh shoot up schools, who like shoot up movie theaters. How is it that the police, again, you know, created by the conservative people, are able to bring an active shooter out of a building after having murdered people and carry them to a car and then get them into a trial where they can have a lawyer who tries to prove them innocent. That is this white supremist conservative culture. What we got on our side? We get excited. We get hopeful. You know, we elect somebody to go into office and they make all these promises to us that through the government this is what's going to happen and then like what what do we have like what's happening?
Batman, the Joker, and Redefining True Masculinity
00:36:35 Courtney Brame: We are so scattered in our views, our beliefs, and there's just also that distrust of the masculine on the liberal side. And I I'm only using sides here because I don't. I don't have the communication yet as I'm exploring um you know, masculinity, not just I'm exploring it from a vulnerability lens. And what I'm finding is that the masculine has historically been something that has to go unchallenged in order for it to remain as masculine. So the conservative masculinity, the masculine force of conservative conservatism, yeah, it's unchallenged because the only force that could challenge it is uh from the Yeah. The only thing that could challenge it is not trust it. You know, I look at Batman Joker. Batman and Joker essentially want the same thing. They are two sides of the same coin. We root for Batman. And Batman is the good guy. Batman has a s*** ton of money and resources. The Joker, who's the bad guy, has influence.
00:38:01 Courtney Brame: These, they both want peace. The Joker is just willing to obtain peace in a way that is in the code of those who follow him. Batman is not willing to go there. Batman does not have more good people that can just, you know, bring justice to the bad people. Like there's fewer people on the liberal side, let's say the liberals represent Batman and the conservatives represent Joker. Right? Now, obviously, if you watch Batman, Batman wants to protect the things the way that they are for people who are good to be able to be good. Basically, stopping the bad guys. And the Joker's like bringing bad guys in order to bring down Batman and bring true genuine liberation to the city of Gotham. Like there's a book on this too. The philosophy of Batman. It is really really good and you'll be like your jaw will hit the floor. So you've got these two leaders.
00:39:05 Courtney Brame: You've got these two people that inspire their communities. Uh, and even like Batman, Batman kind of has to dabble into being representative of what the Joker does and who he is. And then vice versa. So like the yin and yang, right? There's a little bit of white in the Black and there's a little bit of Black in the white. And these two create a force. It is one force. Yin and yang, good and bad, whatever. But when we talk about the labeling of masculinity as incomplete, as split from masculine and feminine, what we see is that incompletion and and that incompletion is the pursuit of wholeness. So we've got these two forces that traditionally our language has given masculinity this ideology that it has to be unchallenged in order to be masculine. So like alphas like I'm the top dog. I don't have to prove I'm the top dog because it's in my demeanor and ain't nobody ain't nobody going to challenge me.
00:40:21 Courtney Brame: But what happens when someone does challenge it? Like you you don't just earn your title, the belt of being the best fighter without being challenged. Like you gotta - you have to be challenged. You know, it's masculine traditionally to not have to. It's like I earned the right to be here. I'm here. I won. I'm the best. But then what happens when you're challenged externally? Now you run the risk of being vulnerable. You run the risk of not being the best, right? And now the challenge of maintaining is masculine and then protecting. And then you've got the challenger of that current masculine which is masculine, right? It's how it expresses itself. It's like, "Hey, you have this. I want this. Give it to me." All right. Well, challenge accepted. Let's fight. But what's traditionally supposed to be masculine is that no one challenges you at all.
00:41:29 Courtney Brame: So when we look at how the masculine presents itself as is, it's unchallenged. So, if we're looking at masculinity from a lens of vulnerability, which is this new way of looking at it that I'm proposing, not in relation to the feminine, not in relation to sex, not in relation to another masculine, but in relation to itself. The lens of vulnerability view of masculinity looks at it exclusively in relation to itself. You now have to challenge everything about your own masculinity and deconstruct, unlearn those things that don't fit, that don't belong, that aren't helpful, that aren't necessary. You know, like looking at it like sex, someone who is willing to be a masculine, you know, subscription, who's willing to be like, "Man, I really don't like having sex with women." or do I really like having sex with women? Am I straight? First off, the fact that you're willing to ask that question says something because traditionally masculine people, no. No, cuz I'm supposed to be this way.
00:42:47 Courtney Brame: I'm masculine. But for you to ask that question is vulnerable. For you to have that thought is vulnerable. for you to express it and for you to figure out the answer to that question, however that looks. Not saying you have to go and try and have sex with someone or like see if you get turned on by certain things. But the fact that you are willing to go there and ask the question and find out the answer and then be willing to live with it, that is masculine because you're challenging yourself. This is an internally driven challenge that is occurring and through that we expand. We become more expansive because the expectation that others set to us is limited. But the ones that we set for ourselves like I honestly believe they're infinite. It's limitless. So when we explore our own essence of masculinity and begin to be able to put our trust in a masculine of the masculine as it is represented on the liberal side here.
The Ecosystem of Politics and Rebuilding Trust
00:43:53 Courtney Brame: Then we can present that unstoppable force that can match the immovability of the conservative end of the spectrum and it's masculine. I believe that there are more people who have just like checked out who choose not to subscribe to the worldly things that are happening because and this is just like with herpes. I believe that most people who have herpes are okay. We will never hear from those people. They have their relationships. They have their lives. They probably manage their outbreaks as they come. But who I talk to are the people at the extreme ends of suffering who really need help who really are in a dark place. That's one extreme. The other extreme is, oh, you know, herpes isn't a big deal. Um, I'm open about it. I will talk about it. Uh, it's on my social media. Like, I'm telling everybody. So, we've got these two ends of the spectrum.
00:44:55 Courtney Brame: But what about the people who are, you know, in the middle? everyday people who just have herpes and it's not a big deal to them. It's the same thing here with the conservative side and the liberal side. Like there are things about the people who are miserable with herpes that turn off people who are just living with herpes. There are things about the people who are vocal and active and advocates about herpes that irritate the people who are in the middle who are fine with the herpes diagnosis. And it's the same exact concept when we look at the liberal conservative, when we look at uh pro life, pro-choice, when we look at we should be able to have access to abortions and get an abortion versus no one should get an abortion. The majority of people who are in the middle are just where they are. And so I believe that part of what trust in the masculine does is that it is going to bring an assertive cohesive uh a well-led bit of uh not bit.
00:46:06 Courtney Brame: I don't know why I said that. That was a filler word. It's going to bring them to be able to combat and collaborate with those people who are in the middle, take what's there and be able to be trusted by them because these are the people who more so just trust themselves. They trust their circumstances and they don't believe that they can put their trust into either side. When we look at conservative, liberal, right? So when we are able to collectively combine our attention, our focus, our our force and create like our Voltron or our Megazord of masculinity to combat the conservative side's masculinity and meet that unmovable object with an unstoppable force so that there can be a yield. There can be no conversation, but there can be action that is led by a solution to a very… the innermost thread of whatever there is that there's opposition about the opposition of um you know choosing abortion or u being able to have an abortion versus No, no one can have an abortion.
00:47:41 Courtney Brame: Like, how ridiculous is that? Like, is there really not enough trust in our masculine to be able to step up and actually be able to take action in that moment and be like, "No, what?" Because we value freedom so much that we don't have any order. We don't have any structure. We don't have any um we don't have any like we're unable to debate. And again, because we're so divided, you know, like somebody throws out a distraction in the media and like we're we're in our phones. We're so on our phones and not present to what's happening. Like stuff's been happening that led up to this that we probably could have done something about, but we don't trust our masculine. We don't trust our uh protector, our provider, the protecting and the providing in the masculine. And I don't know how we can get there. I know that part of it stems from not wanting to try to solve things because that's what I wanted to do.
00:48:46 Courtney Brame: I wanted to just do something. And what that took me down this path was why do I want to take action? Why is it so hard for me to do anything else? And I had to just listen to women. I had to support women. And that was one of the hardest things for me to do because it's not nothing's being done. And that's uncomfortable for me. and my challenge of my masculinity became wow in action is an action. the building and developing of trust in the masculine with the women that I spoke to. Like these are women who trust me and trust in believe in me as a representative of this masculine force that is on the side of the of uh liberation, you know, and I think that what that liberation looks like is me as someone in the middle, like I from the very logical standpoint, don't have sex with people you don't want kids with. wear a condom.
00:49:52 Courtney Brame: Uh, make sure that the condoms are put on correctly, communicate about birth control, pull out still. Like most men, we're not really impacted by this. All we have to do is not just sleep with people that we don't want to have kids with, right? And then there's also the fact that there are women on birth control. So, why don't we just like to do those things? So from the standpoint of extreme liberal, extreme conservative, most of the people in the middle, again paralleling most people who have herpes and are okay. Most people are just making the right logical decision. It's like, all right, I'm going to do this moving forward and I'm gone. And they don't really have a need to see the extreme ends of the spectrum. Brenda who has a baby. They don't have to see that. They don't have to see that this is something that is on the trajectory of more oppression, more liberties being taken away.
00:50:53 Courtney Brame: They don't have a reason to see that. But they also don't have a solution. They don't have anything to get behind. Everybody's beaten down and hopeless. And we have to be able to put our faith in and rebuild trust in the masculine. And that's going to require the masculine to turn on that vulnerable lens and bring it within itself. The masculine has to self-reflect. The masculine has to define masculinity for the masculine so that it can evolve into something that probably there isn't language for. So that it can become the divine force that it never would have been able to accomplish without having split itself away and then be able to go within itself and find growth in that. Because this too is going to encourage a more powerful feminine, a more powerful trust in the leadership, the assertiveness, the providing, protecting, and that unstoppable force man is going to meet that immovable object of the conservatives in a way that is going to bring us to this this new way of existing.
00:52:13 Courtney Brame: Because I'll be honest, like when we look at conservative views, like the way that they're like, "Oh yeah, we need guns. We need all these things." They do things in such an extreme that seems to go against um you know, freedom and what America is supposed to represent. Some of the stuff makes sense. Some of the stuff is excessive and like the complete banning of abortion for instance is excessive and unnecessary. like abortion after being pregnant for 6 months makes sense to be like, "Hey, we're not going to do that at this point. You need to just give the baby away." But if there are complications where it's either the mother's life or the baby's life where this baby might have to go, um, like where's where's where's the baby going to go? Like the person who chose to bear the child. I don't know any animal that if it knows I don't even know if animals do this but like if it knows like there are babies there's animals who eat their babies like because they wouldn't survive in the wild or because like the law of um segregation is not the word.
00:53:25 Courtney Brame: Wow. Natural selection. I don't know. I'm drifting again. But a law like making the law - not nobody can get an abortion. But look at these instances. Yeah. But also like y'all can't just assume that people are just having sex and getting pregnant because they know that they can get an abortion. And that's how I feel like they look at it. They look at things in extremes. And then when we look at the liberal side, I should be able to do whatever I want. And even the linguistics there like yes, freedom you should be able to do. we should be able to exist as long as we're not harming others. And then there's like extremes in that because there's no development of a common ground with the opposite end of the spectrum. And I think that the masculine will be able to communicate with the masculine in a way that there will be common ground understanding of, hey, you thinking that people just over here having sex and getting pregnant and getting abortions because they can.
00:54:33 Courtney Brame: And that's not the case. That's not the case most of the time. I'll say that there. I wanted to bring all of the conversations that I've been having into this space. And I don't there's not there's not enough space here, but I feel like I've brought enough of this here to be able to comfortably say that I've been able to reflect. I've been able to in a way that's not like draining women around me to be able to develop some understanding, you know, not just understanding of, you know, the women that I already agree with. Yeah, you should be able to get an abortion if you want an abortion, but also in a way where I've been able to understand the conservative views and sides as well. So that I see where the disconnect is. You know, if you listen to the podcast episode um titled 69, the one about perspective, we're saying the same things in some ways. And there's like an unwillingness because of how the masculine on the conservative side just does not value or respect the feminine on the um liberal side because there's no cohesion.
00:55:54 Courtney Brame: there's no leadership. You know, the masculine is like, "Well, where's the man?" Right? Like that's what that's what they do because they are traditional and old school. Whereas if we were to have that masculine presence to be able to meet that opposition because again immovable object, unstoppable force and also I got that from Superman by the way. Superman was questioned by this all powerful deity and it was like I'm going to uh you must answer a riddle. What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? And then he just answered, they yielded. And that was the answer. That's where I got that from. So, I got to get credit where credit's due. Uh, shout out to DC Comics, even though I'm more of a Marvel fan, but we ain't got to go there. We need trust in the masculine. The masculine needs to trust itself. The masculine needs to self-reflect. Like, and I don't mean masculine in this alpha like get b******, get money type way.
00:56:56 Courtney Brame: Like, I mean masculine in the way that it expresses in your life. So, if you're someone who's listening to this and you want to, I mean, I feel like we have to or else we're just going to keep heading down this direction where this immovable object isn't going to move and we got to be able to come together in unity like as a whole. This whole concept of um I saw this meme that said right-wing, leftwing, it's still part of the same bird which is politics. like politics ain't it ain't working and like the the structures that are in place like if people keep having babies the people who are going to keep having babies and not have access to abortion are going to be um people who are birthing babies in terrible circumstances. A lot of these mothers are going to die. These places where this happens are like impoverished communities. So, like it's profitable for conservatives because of the school to prison pipeline. Uh you might pump out a superstar athlete that you're also going to make money from because the sports uh leagues are owned by white men.
00:58:06 Courtney Brame: And you've got gun violence that's going to occur. People need to protect themselves. Violence is so rampant in these communities. There's very limited resources, if resources at all. There's malnutrition. So, you're looking at uh having to eat foods that aren't good for you, that are terrible for you, and you've got more people who need medical care, who are going to have to get medical care, and there's needs for the hospitals. There's going to be all it's it's an ecosystem. This thing about abortion was about the ecosystem because women are choosing not to have children. their pri children um they're prioritizing their education, prioritizing their career and there's a distrust in the masculine to be able to offer that space for protecting creativity. So now more women are having to be self sustainable because of the masculine doing what it's doing and the conservative side is unwilling to offer better sex education. It's unwilling to offer um like sick leave or not sick leave, maternity leave, family leave with pay. It's unwilling to support the things that actually will minimize how many abortions are utilized. And that's a conversation that maybe the conservative side that is entrusting in its masculine is unwilling to have or negotiate because we seem like we don't know what the f*** we want to be on the liberal side. And again, there's a whole group of people who are just living their lives in the middle that we will never hear from because they are seemingly unaffected by it because logically they are. So we got to put trust in our masculine. We have to relearn the trust, regain the trust of our feminine. We have to trust ourselves. And then therefore, inherently we will be able to lead. We will be followed and supported as we remobilize and get the momentum to become and reconnect to that unstoppable force that we are so that we can meet this immovable object and yield to an agreement.
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