SPFPP Episode 154: being WITH vs BEING with

If you've ever just BEEN with someone (emphasis on BEEN) then you understand that you experience this sense of peace and freedom that comes with not having to modify your behavior around them. Whereas when you're being WITH someone (emphasis on WITH) where you may resist your natural state of existence somehow. I talk through the experience of being WITH and BEING with myself and how that's come into my awareness after having tested positive for COVID.

I was scared. I wasn't scared I was going to die or anything, just scared at how it impacted my finances having not been able to work for three weeks. I was afraid of losing my friends. I was afraid of having to adapt yet again to an uncomfortable situation. I was afraid of having to face a stigma that parallels that of being diagnosed with genital HSV.

Through it all, I was able to BE with myself those three weeks in isolation. I would've never been able to because I'm always being WITH others in my day to day life whether online or in person. I'm always WITH my thoughts if I'm alone and this keeps my identification and sense of self focused on what's not me.

This podcast episode highlights and uses examples of how I've personally grown through my experiences with therapy, not because of my herpes diagnosis but because of what my herpes diagnosis represents for me in terms of my patterns of behavior. I'm proud of myself for this episode because I was able to so well articulate my struggles and successes through a very challenging period in my life.