SPFPP 375: Queering Masculinity - From Performance to Presence

Hello, World!

In this solo episode, I explore how queer community, education, and presence have deeply influenced my understanding of masculinity—not by changing who I am, but by giving me the freedom to express it with more honesty, softness, and presence.

As a cisgender heterosexual Black man, I’ve found more validation of my identity in queer spaces than in the spaces I was told I “belonged” in. This episode is a reflection on that truth, especially at the intersection of Pride and Men’s Mental Health Month.

I also share how stigma—specifically herpes stigma—has been a gateway into deeper self-inquiry around identity, performance, and liberation. Using Bell Hooks’ definition of queerness as a guide, I talk about how embracing the challenge of unbecoming has brought me closer to who I actually am.

This is for anyone rethinking what masculinity looks like when it’s not measured in dominance or stats—but in connection, curiosity, and care.