SPFPP 214: Time Doesn't Heal Wounds, It Mends Them

Katie Lange from Strong Mind Counseling and Wellness, LLC joins us for an episode that speaks to the usefulness of community and mental health resources for people navigating the stigma of a herpes diagnosis. I’ve known Katie personally for about 4 years and thought she’d be a great person to partner with when I started putting together therapy services in 2020. Katie has seen about 14 people through SPFPP. Katie has facilitated a group therapy cohort and seen people on an individual basis.

Here we speak to what people can expect to get out of therapy. While we tie it exclusively to navigating an HSV diagnosis and stigma, you’ll find that you can in fact interchange herpes with other traumas. Speaking of trauma, we discuss how everyone can experience the same exact event in a different way completely. While each journey is different, the cycle of stigma has a very similar process. We begin with shame projected onto us that becomes internalized as the voice of our own self talk that influences our actions. I thought Katie really was good about holding space for me to verbalize this aloud.

We talk about how time doesn’t necessarily heal all. To me, that’s lazy. We outsource our own work to the passage of time, which solidifies what’s already there with acceptance. When we look at our pain, or self-perceived brokenness, it’s important that we not allow time to pass as is. That’s avoidance. If you broke a bone, you’d go to a specialist, seek treatment, maybe rehab it so that bone can heal over time and become as functional as it can be depending on the work you put in. Imagine letting a broken bone heal over time without tending to it at all? It won’t be the same, and not in a good way. Why wouldn’t we have this same process for our own healing? Let time be what simply allows for the settling of the healing to occur.

This episode highlights the bigger picture for SPFPP and its audience, volunteers, supporters, and gives donors understanding of what’s happening as spoken by one of our partners, a therapist supporting people living with herpes. This is what our donations work towards. This is where my bigger picture effort goes. The day to day discipline, consistency, ups and downs that you may or may not see. . . This is what keeps my motivation high. I can blow through symptoms of burnout because I so clearly see a future for this organization that streamlines a process for individuals to dissolve stigma within themselves by taking their own conceptions of themselves, and be willing to look at, feel, and heal the perceived brokenness that comes with the trauma of a herpes diagnosis.

Time doesn’t heal all. It simply mends what is as it is. Don’t outsource doing the work to doing nothing but letting the pain settle in. Use this as an opportunity to reconstruct your identity from the shattered pieces of your identity. You got this!