Episode 108: There's No Blame

When I was diagnosed with genital HSV-2 in 2012 (I believe), all my recent partners told me they were not HSV positive. This left me with no place to point the finger to blame for my diagnosis. For a while I felt that was a disadvantage for me because I had to create my own path to healing whereas if I had someone to blame, I could avoid it altogether, which I had done for a long time. I recognized I had no one to blame for my diagnosis, or my feelings about my diagnosis. I chose to just move on for the next five years. I subconsciously fed the ignored feelings about my diagnosis and they guided so much of my behavior until I could no longer avoid it with the distractions of excessive eating, working out, drinking. I had to figure it out on my own with no point of reference.

I commend those who KNOW who passed the herpes virus on to them. When you choose to heal, the path is simply forgiveness and it’s right there in front of you. With no point of reference, I learned a lot from what didn’t work for me, sending me into directions away from the things I didn’t like whereas blame would show me what direction to head towards. 

This week’s Something Positive for Positive People podcast guest had a place to point the blame, and chose not to. She accepted the lesson without the fault and negativity attached to it. There is no blame.