SPFPP 205: Something Positively Positive for Positive People Managing Rejection
We finally have Sarah to interview. This was a really well-timed podcast recording and release to be honest. Sarah and I speak to her origin story as the creator of the Positively Positive Podcast which you can find available on all podcast platforms. She essentially created what she needed for herself because she couldn’t find it. Along the way, we crossed paths. Not having any kind of external influence really made this resource authentic. Sarah and I speak to the physical aspect of sexual identity and the mental health/emotional identity between behaviors and beliefs in order to best extend empathy and compassion to those who face mental health challenges.
Much of this podcast is useful for anyone navigating rejection. I think Sarah’s statement about being rejected in her career has created a solid foundation for her to fully go into an interaction with all she has to give and leaving it there whether she’s accepted for the role or if there was someone selected over her. She was told early on “you’re going to fail, be rejected, and things will change. Just give it your all and then when it’s done, on to the next.” Sarah also speaks to how a strong support system fosters resilience for expressing that vulnerability that goes into putting yourself in position to experience rejection.
A question to ask yourself as you listen here is where is your confidence in disclosing your status to partners? Think this way… If you’re at a point of preparing to disclose then you’ve already experienced acceptance for who you are up to that point in the interaction. Sharing your status and asking to move forward simply just means you’re asking a person if they are okay with taking a chance of getting herpes. This point in the interaction is not about you, nor is it really about them. It’s about their understanding and tolerance of potentially knowingly being exposed to an STI. It’s okay if someone doesn’t want to get herpes yet. While Sarah and I both have platforms to refer people to, we still experience the feelings of rejection when it comes to dating and our careers. We speak to the ups and downs about being open about our positive statuses. Where else do you experience rejection? How do you get your confidence back after?
I was challenged in this interview. I always thought that by continuing to allow people to have anonymity on SPFPP, that I was perhaps perpetuating STI stigma. Sarah challenged me by simply stating that it’s more important that the work be done than for it to be done how we think it should be. Her transition from Sam to Sarah on the Positively Positive podcast was something she used as an example here and she speaks to that. Secrets will kill you. And while you think they protect you, what’s actually happening is your spirit is rotting away by it. Being willing to lean into those insecurities manifest into those secrets is what uncovers confidence. The separation of identity causes suffering. Something needs to be expressed through us and sometimes it’s that secret. Sharing that secret is a demonstration of vulnerability. In those expressions of vulnerability, we moreso uncover our single self rather than the fragments held from coming together by shame and secrecy.