SPFPP 211: Delayed Disclosure & Self-Punishment
Instagram’s own KLongFit joins us to share her experience diagnosed at 19 with HSV1 genitally. Having grown up in a religious, Christian household, Katelyn speaks to how hearing “don’t have sex” from her mom contributed to her own shame around sex and how it impacted her behavior.
She went many sexual encounters not disclosing to partners unconsciously looking for the hero she found two years into her diagnosis who has now been her partners for 5 years and has not shown any symptoms of HSV. This wasn’t a smooth transition as he was also someone she hadn’t disclosed to initially. She was outed at the dinner table by her sister’s bitter ex boyfriend who happened to overhear when Katelyn disclosed to her sister. This led to a necessary, and long delayed disclosure to the man she’d been with for 2 years at this point.
We speak to her evolution on how herpes was what changed the course of her life along with Shoshanna Raven’s Living Brave community. Self-reflecting, journaling, and being forced into having to confront not only not having disclosed to her partner, but also the underlying emotions associated with it all. You should listen to this podcast period. This isn’t FOR any particular group of people. I think this helps us empathize with those who struggle with disclosure and have compassion for them as they don’t have the know how or resources to navigate the sigma until someone is able to pull them in for support or point them in the right direction of community.
Allyship is so key. Stigma prevents us from establishing this within our social circles and community settings. We can minimize or even prevent instances like Katelyn’s experience if we lean into that minor discomfort of sharing our HSV status with people and share some of what we’ve learned having to navigate the inconsistency of available resources. I’ll do my part being louder about this being a healing resource for people struggling with herpes stigma and welcome in allies. I’ve encouraged the SPFPP Board to do the same, and each and every podcast guest who’s shared their story is part of this advocacy. All our donors, sponsors, and therapist….. You all are our advocates for allyship in this space. For those who utilize the services and resources of SPFPP, I ask that you take your time. I know you’ll show up when it matters most and when you’re ready.
We reference her article on Elephant Journal. Here’s the link to that if you want to read her story: www.elephantjournal.com/?p=2548654