SPFPP 318: You Don't Need a License to Heal

I used to get asked “Why don’t you become a therapist?”. Honestly, I think my experience living with herpes and being able to share about it out loud provides some level of rapport with the populations I serve that if I were a licensed mental health professional working with people who struggle with herpes stigma, I just wouldn’t be able to connect as well. I believe my role may be to empower therapists with the experiences people share with folks living with herpes and to empower people directly living with herpes to see what is possible on the other side of stigma. The route I’ve chosen in order to have some kind of ‘expertise’ behind me has been Yoga. As a 500 hour registered Yoga instructor and as of October 2025, a Yoga Therapist in training (expected to complete certification requirements in 2026 FYI) I have structure to serve people by helping them navigate herpes stigma. It’s a structure aligned with values and beliefs that have a history and are respected and what’s taught is rooted in a combination of science and spirituality, which means I can speak the diverse language. But anyone can witness someone with presence, and that’s the healing I believe I provide for people. The freedom in living openly as someone with herpes gives that permission to others to do the same. It’s my experience as a podcaster interconnected with those values that amplify the quality of my service I can’t get as a therapist.

Episode 318 Transcript

The Origin and True Cost of Running SPFPP

00:00:00 Courtney Brame: Hello and welcome to Something Positive for Positive People. I'm your host, Courtney Brame. Something Positive for Positive People is a 501c3 nonprofit organization that provides a ton of various support resources to people who are navigating herpes stigma. Um, but the easiest way on paper to remain tax compliant to explain what we do is we essentially teach people how to talk about their sexual health status. But there is so much more to this y'all. And what I want to make sure to do this episode is to go over a lot of that because I recognize that I ask for donations to this nonprofit. And I don't know if people just think like I'm asking people to give me money that goes into my pocket so that I can continue doing this. I would love to be able to pay myself. I started paying myself for the money that was coming in like what's agreed upon by nonprofits, but also found myself having to pay a lot of stuff out of pocket.

00:01:43 Courtney Brame: So it was very counterproductive. So I don't think it's a good idea for me to pay myself all the time at least. So, I work, I have jobs, I have other ways of making money. I do those things. And I'm also recognizing that those things I do are taking away from the level of investment that I'm able to put into Something Positive for Positive People. Now, uh that's that's not y'all's problem. That has nothing to do with y'all. Um but I think maybe it's a good idea for me to share what's happening now. what's happened in the past, what's going to happen so that you know what to expect and then what my bigger picture goal for this organization is and what it looks like in let's say 15 years. In 15 years, what Something Positive looks like? And this would be a first for me to say out loud because it's always been really challenging for me to foresee anything beyond like next week because one of fear, fear of success generally, but also just a genuine fear of saying one thing and then doing something else or having to do something else.

00:02:55 Courtney Brame: Uh perhaps even calling in circumstances that don't align with the outcomes that I want. So there's a little bit of fear around that and I'm okay with saying that but yeah I I'll I'll start with what has happened in the past. Um when I started this organization, well actually when I started the podcast so the podcast itself has been going on. You stop, stop. There's a very active animal here and yeah this animal is being very active unnecessarily. Um so you might hear that in the background. That's it. No other distractions. My apologies. I ain't editing that out either because it's real. like this. These are the things that I deal with when recording. All right. Um, I'm also not at home. All right. So, when I started Something Positive for Positive People, I didn't know that I even knew that it was going to be called Something Positive for Positive People.

00:03:57 Courtney Brame: I actually started interviewing people living with herpes about their experiences. And the reason that I was interviewing them was because I saw that there were many people who had expressed suicide ideation because of their diagnosis, saying, "Oh, I'm going to be alone forever because of this virus. Uh, I don't know how much longer I can go on. I'm going to kill myself." These were various things that I would see across different social media platforms, forums, and support groups. And when you see something like that enough times, you know, you start to think it's, you know, a real thing. And for me in the beginning, I didn't know how big of a deal that was. And in all honesty, like coming from the background that I have growing up the way I did, like suicide ideation was white people s***. And if you were depressed or sad or had anxiety, you needed to take your ass outside. This is like what my family taught me growing up.

00:04:52 Courtney Brame: And so I saw it enough times and I saw it from enough of a diverse group of people to recognize like, oh, this might be a thing. Let me ask about this. And so I bring my curiosity into interviewing people and asking these questions about their experiences. And as I did so, like my perspective on suicide and suicide ideation changed significantly because I always thought that why a person wanted to kill themselves is because they were lonely. And then as I started to speak with more people and speak to more uh grief counselors and mental health professionals, I learned that suicide uh was about a feeling of control. You cannot control what's happening in your life. So you can control your death and how that happens. And then I took it a step even further as I talked to more people. And what I've learned is that it's been really about identity invalidation. So when who you are is consistently invalidated by the world around you, starting with your family, your relationships, your friendships, the environments you're in, your careers, your passions, whatever your hobbies and interests are.

Addressing the Mental Health Crisis of Herpes

00:06:02 Courtney Brame: When let's say you continue to try those things and I don't want to say you fail because even when you fail, that guides you more towards success. But in these experiences, you're not being validated in who you see yourself to be. Right? So as this continues to happen, I see where people can become anxious, depressed, uh suicidal, um and and and that has been the core of what's been fueling Something Positive for Positive People. So I just wanted to give people who were experiencing suicide ideation because of their diagnosis a place where they can get some sense of direction and maybe have some identity validation through the experiences of other people who come on to this podcast and share their experiences. So this is a really safe place to be able to wherever you are uh download a podcast episode or you can even just go straight to the website uh spf.org or go to the podcast tab and then just press play and it won't even track that you've listened to the podcast.

00:07:10 Courtney Brame: So if you're someone who is like, "Oh, I don't want my name to be associated with this podcast because then people are going to think that I have herpes." You don't have to download the episode. You don't have to pay to play it on um one of the podcast listening platforms because I don't track things. I might see an IP address. Like if you visit the website, it will say a person from this IP address or whatever visited the website. And that's really all I got. Um, as far as my analytics go, I see that there's consistently 10,000 subscribers. Yay. That's exciting. Um, but these are people who come and go, and that's how that's exactly how it should be. It should be people who are coming and going and getting what they need and then leaving, right? Um, so that's cool. But, um, I'm I'm bouncing around. I have a list right here.

00:08:00 Courtney Brame: I even made a list of what I'm going to talk about in this podcast episode. So, let me finish the story and then I'll get to that list. So, um, as I began to do more of these interviews, I started to see like, oh, there's a real mental health thing here going on. So, uh, I started to raise money for paying for people to get therapy and it was going well. It just wasn't sustainable long term as a business. So much of these costs have had to come out of my pocket. And it was a very good time frame because I started it and I registered as a nonprofit in 2019. May 23rd, 2019 is the birthday of the nonprofit, Something Positive for Positive People. and that portion of which in next year 2024 uh on May 23rd we will be having our first ever Something Positive for Positive People Conference where we will talk about herpes stigma. I'll have a couple of different presenters who will talk about herpes stigma.

00:09:00 Courtney Brame: And if you are someone who uh is positive for herpes or you work in the medical field or you work with people who have herpes, please extend the invitation to these people so that we can get uh a good attendance so that this can be an ongoing thing because I'm going be honest y'all. This podcast s*** ain't cutting it. I'm losing money just hosting this podcast. And I appreciate my consistent donor. Uh you know who you are. Appreciate you my man. And I also appreciate the spontaneous donations that come in. Um, and I also recognize that I also want to shout out my Patreon subscribers as well. Uh, and even the people who say, "Yeah, I'm going to donate regularly who choose not to subscribe to just have the money taken out and then they don't donate regularly." Um, shout out to y'all because I know the intention is there. All right. Um, and I even want to shout out to the people who can't donate.

00:09:53 Courtney Brame: like I thank you for coming here and taking care of yourself and doing what you can because I recognize how hard it is. It's debilitating to have this herpes diagnosis and to experience the weight of the stigma in a way that you don't even feel like you can move or exist or uh say the word herpes or say the word stigma. Right? I get where y'all are and you know I I again I just I thank y'all for being here as well. Um but without me sounding like I'm bitching and complaining about the lack of participation of people who directly benefit from these services. I want to clarify that that is not my intention here. I know how things I say sound and I'm aware of it. I'm just not going to go out of my way to dance around what I'm saying and try and say it in the most politically correct manner because the reality is that if this resource is as helpful and impactful as so many people say it is, then the only way to improve its impact and effectiveness and expand it into uh realms that aren't just when a person's diagnosed and then they do enough googling and they find me.

00:11:19 Courtney Brame: In order to do that, y'all, we need more resources. We need more involvement. We need more praise from the people impacted by the services. We need more money. We need a lot of things. And I keep saying we y'all, but it's just me. Like, shout out to my board members, but they can only do what I ask of them. And they also have their own things going on. So I can't really all I can do is go to them for advice and to keep them here in order to maintain their nonprofit status so that I can do the things that need to be done. And right now it's just a matter of me remaining consistent. I know my posts look like s***. I know that the screenshots are terrible. The website I just put a lot of money into and paid somebody else to do that. I'm so thankful for the money that came in for me to be able to do that so that the website just don't look like I threw it together, you know, it looks a lot more legit now.

Re-structuring Therapy and Setting Boundaries

00:12:17 Courtney Brame: Um but I have to come up with newer creative ways to raise money. And going back to the service that we were providing, which was the therapy, um that wasn't that wasn't effective. It wasn't working. And on one hand, like, yay, I'm I'm able to pay for people to get therapy. You know, sometimes that was coming out of my pocket. And thank God for 2020. And, you know, I hate to say it like that, but um the money that I was able to get from the government during that time because I was unemployed, that was what I put towards paying for people to get therapy. And maybe it was in my ass that I didn't ask people for enough money or make my expectations clear, but I see it y'all. I see that I've funnel caked up. I see that. And in my funnel caking up, um yeah, I learned a valuable collection of lessons to say the least.

00:13:17 Courtney Brame: Um but I want to bring that back. I have such a strong desire to bring back the therapy component of Something Positive for Positive People. Um I had an experience recently where I was in one of the support groups and this is another thing that I've been doing lately is there's a support group for Patreon members that meets on Monday evenings. And if you are a Patreon subscriber like you join weekly. If you're not, the last Monday of the month is open to everybody. Oh, so this past Monday. Dang, what? Nobody knew there. And see, this is another thing, too. Like, I have to get better about messaging and social media. I'm doing that thing where I jump all over the place. So, to stay on track, let me just wrap up what we used to do. So, we used to pay for people to get therapy. I was just running the podcast weekly.

00:14:08 Courtney Brame: Um, and that was it. Like, those were the main focuses. So that was what the money was going towards, like maintaining the website, the podcast stuff, and then paying for people to get therapy. And then people were just not going to their sessions. People were like, "Oh, they'd get in a relationship or something else would come up." And honestly, I would just say nobody was taking it seriously the majority of the time. The people who took it seriously were the people that I recommended to the therapist and then they had to pay the people out of pocket. In my ideal business scenario, we would ask you, "What can you pay?" You would pay us that and then we'd negotiate the rates for the therapist and be able to pay them and still be able to keep some of that money as a donation to where you are also supporting our organization and you're getting your therapy. That would be my ideal scenario. It worked with one person.

00:15:02 Courtney Brame: And if she's listening, shout out to you. Thank you so much for your support and being so willing to explore that with me. But I understand everybody can't do that. And you know, there's honestly nothing out there grant-wise or programwise for people with herpes. And I'm going to tell you flat out, they don't give a f***. They don't, they don't care. They being these organizations in public health, the pharmaceutical companies, like we got to make a really big impact. And that really big impact can be to stop buying antivirals. That's my proposal. Like when we stop buying antivirals and pharmaceutical companies go, yo, why are we not making a billion dollars a year off of selling herpes medicine anymore? And then they go, "Oh, well, people stop taking the medication because it's not actually effective." Like, yeah, it might help with outbreaks, but people want something that prevents them from passing on herpes, not just minimizes or reduces the risks.

00:16:04 Courtney Brame: Pharmaceutical companies are going to go, damn. All right, we need to get that number to zero. Why don't we look at what HIV is doing and how if you have HIV and you're undetectable, you can't pass the virus on. Why don't we make a medication that does that? And then boom, you got all these surveys that go out and all this participation being asked about. Money gets thrown at organizations to collect data and promote this product and find out what people need, blah blah blah. And that's something that can only happen if we really get involved. But, you know, like I said, nobody really cares. And arguably the people who have herpes, not enough of us care to at least be willing to advocate for a better medication or even just like more accurate testing and for the general population to be tested on a consistent basis at least annually so that more people who do have the virus and don't know they have it have experience with it.

00:17:00 Courtney Brame: And then boom, these people go on to be more communicative about sexual health. That expands because now more people living with herpes know their status, know to initiate conversations around sexual health and even people who might not have herpes themselves are now having to have these conversations and being more active participants in the communication around their sexual health. That is essentially what can happen. But I don't have the reach for it. Like my Instagram algorithm is trash. Like 120 people out of the almost 10,000 people who follow me see my posts on a consistent basis 120 something, 120/140 and that's whenever I talk about herpes or when I talk about any of the upcoming events or when I make asks of people to donate check this out if I direct people to the website those are not being seen by people I don't use different platforms even if you look at my Facebook you'll see that I've been posting consistently. Anytime I make a post and it has no likes, no shares, no comments, there's very few that might have a share.

00:18:10 Courtney Brame: And I think that that's really even about timing more than anything. But this content that I stand on and stand behind doesn't have the capability of going viral in the way that I'm pushing the information. I don't care to have a million people watch a video that I have. What I care about is for organizations that probably aren't as active on social media to make a real f****** change. Like I want for these organizations to be like, "Yeah, you know what? That organization that all those people that are involved, all those people impacted by herpes stigma, like we need to support that. We need to do something about it." But it's not my intention, I know, is powerful. I'm able to draw in the things that are needed at the very least. Like I don't know how I've been able to do this s*** for seven years to be completely honest. I ain't got no full-time job. Like me, I've made sacrifices.

Holding the Boundary Against "Energy Vampires"

00:19:05 Courtney Brame: I understand to make it work. Um and I do what I can. I do what I have to do. And somehow every now and then somebody pops up and they make a massive contribution. Um they give me some type of uh just added motivation with a thank you and just saying, "Hey, here's how you helped me. I appreciate you." Um and these are the kinds of things that have kept me going so far. But I recognize that they're not sustainable. Especially like I'm 35 years old now, y'all. When I was 27, 28 years old. Hold on. How long? Seven years. Seven. Yeah. When I was 28 years old and started Something Positive for Positive People, I was in a different place. I was living with my grandma, so I ain't have to really pay rent. And then when I finally moved out, I was uh working for myself as a personal trainer, which was I don't know how that worked out so well, but I was doing this while I was doing that.

00:19:54 Courtney Brame: Oh, and I also had another job where I was just able to make enough money to get by. And you know, now being 35, I'm looking back on what I've done and trying to figure out like what did I learn from that? How can I be more effective? Which transitions very smoothly into right now? What's happening? And that's going to be where we look at this hit list that I have. So, I've got a list of things that I need to do. I'm going to try and filter out the things that need to be done by me so that y'all don't hear like my chores list, right? And I'm only going to talk about things that are relevant to the services. So, the first thing I have up here is one-on-one coaching. And right now, what I've been doing is people will, you know, reach out and say, "Hey, can I pick your brand?" "Hey, I I f***** up.

00:20:46 Courtney Brame: I didn't disclose to somebody. What should I do?" or hey, I got this person that I really like coming up and I want to tell them that I have herpes. I'm nervous. I don't know what to do. Uh, can we talk? And I'll do that. I'll do that for everybody. I'll talk to anybody. Um, but as of lately, what I've been doing is asking people to send proof of a donation before we have that conversation. And there's always been this part of me that's felt really guilty about this because I don't like the idea of charging people for healing. And that's essentially what this is. But I can't quantify healing. I can't ask government organizations for money for me to talk to people because it's healing, right? That doesn't quantify it for them. And so it's very difficult for me to ask for that.

00:21:34 Courtney Brame: So what I'm wanting to do here is to create some form of a coaching curriculum 6 week/12 week and then make that something where um people are able to pay what they can for it. I would like to be able to do that rather than um and if people want to talk to me like we can set that up but I I can't continue doing things without a donation coming in because people are so and this so much of this is exactly like dating because people are so detached that they'll they'll go on a dating app, tell you what you want to hear, they'll f*** you, get their nut off, have postnut clarity, never talk to you again, may even block you and ghost you. That's how I feel. I feel like when people come here, they listen to this podcast, they get excited, they want to get involved or they want to talk to me, we have a conversation, and then, you know, there's this investment with from my end that's like, "Hey, you know, I want you to heal. I want you to get what you need out of this." And then they'll tell me about this relationship that they have or had or

00:22:38 Courtney Brame: whatever. We'll talk about how terrible it is for them and then they'll disappear and I'll never f****** hear from them again. And that feels real s*****. like it feels like being ghosted relationshipwise. It's like you energetically and emotionally f***** me and you f***** me like for a long time and during that time that we were f****** like I put a lot into you and then it's just like all right, you know, yeah, I I I see this going somewhere and I'm happy for this person and then I hit you up and my texts go green or I'm looking like a crazy b**** texting you seven times or just checking in like, "Hey, you know, I just want to make sure you're okay. How are things? And then like I don't hear from you. And there's been a dozen or more times, this has happened enough times to be a thing where somebody will reach out to me like way later and be like, I'm sorry. This is what happened.

00:23:29 Courtney Brame: I got back with my ex, blah blah blah, and I thought things were good. This has happened enough times for me to be able to point out this exact thing. Um, and it doesn't feel good. So now I'm asking for an upfront proof of some level of investment. Even if you donate a dollar, right? I at least feel like you didn't emotionally f******. You put something toward the bill. You at least like brought condoms to the f******, you know, there was some type of a contribution rather than me exclusively being taken from. All right. So whether it be venting, whether you need support, whether you need uh help with disclosing to someone new coming up or disclosing retroactively to someone that you wish that you would have disclosed to sooner, that's what I'm here for. And when you are making these upfront donations and sending me proof of said donation and we have these conversations, like understand, I'm not just about to tell you here's what you need to say.

00:24:26 Courtney Brame: Bye. Like these are very detailed conversations. I'm asking you questions. I'm learning about you because it's not like a quick thing. Like I need to know who you are. I need to know about this person. I need to know what you want. Where are you coming from? Right? So that by the end of the conversation, you've already spoken well enough about your experience and what you are wanting and what your what your ask is to where now you're just given language that aligns with who you are. Because if I tell you what to say, it's not you saying it, it's me saying it. And the lack of vulnerability and emotional connectedness to you just repeating or regurgitating what I tell you to say, that's going to be what gets you rejected. But when you can go to someone and genuinely say to them, "Hey, here's where I'm at. Here's how I feel. Here's what I would like.

00:25:17 Courtney Brame: I would like to ask you this." It's so much different, y'all. So, when I talk about these one-on-one calls or one-on-one coaching calls, um, that's what I mean. When we look at what a curriculum might look like, I can put something on a website for people who think that saying the right thing is going to get them the outcome that they want. Like, I can create that, but it really should be something that's more customizable than that. But, um, if you want to talk and get through to something real, please just send me proof of a donation and then we can set up a time to talk. I don't care how much the donation is, but I just need to see some level of investment because honestly, I'm tired of being taken from. I'm tired of being ghosted. I'm tired of people, you know, um using me because that's what it is. Like, yeah, this is an organization, but it's just me.

00:26:09 Courtney Brame: And later on, I can get to what it looks like as an organization later on down the road. Um but yeah, the next thing that I'm also doing, I need to set up a Calendly for people to set up calls. I need to set up a link tree for social media. People can find out where to donate, and how to get in touch with me sooner. Um, my resume, y'all, is thick with speaking engagements, podcast interviews, um, news articles, magazines, all of that stuff. And, you know, as I sat and I looked at it, I was like, damn, like this is like a professional speaker's resume. And so one of the things that I'm looking to do as we go into 2024 is to seek out more speaking opportunities at these health conferences because I think that that's where it's probably the most relevant. It's just a matter of I need to get these surveys uh results in so that I have something to speak to where it makes an impact.

00:27:09 Courtney Brame: Like me going and doing these talks, yay, I raise money that way. There's a lot of work that goes into that. And I also need to be able to back my s*** up that I'm talking. I can speak to us collectively from a qualitative perspective because I talked to so many people, but it's not on paper. If it's not on paper to be quantified, I can't go and talk to no room of public health professionals and say people with herpes want to kill themselves. How many uh I don't know. Or having a small sample size that I have so far through the survey, that's not enough, y'all. And it's 10,000. It's 10,000 subscribers. That means 10,000 people check in with this podcast on a consistent basis. And if you have listened to this point and just not gotten involved at all, the minimum thing you can do is make a donation. The second smallest thing you can do is uh participate in the survey so that we can get that data so that I can bring that into these places and maybe advocate for something to change for us because right now ain't nothing changing.

The 15-Year Plan

00:28:06 Courtney Brame: I do not see a cure in our foreseeable future. It's not happening. So stop waiting on it. Get involved. Like this organization is one of many things that you have that has ways for you to take action in a way that maintains your anonymity. You can do this like right is as simple as that. Um newsletter wise um I am creating a newsletter. So, if you're listening to this and you want to receive updates on the upcoming events, the conference that we have coming up, first ever baby, um, and you want to know about the support groups, you want to know about the therapy, you want to know what's happening with something positive, you want to know how much money we're raising, please send me your email address so that I can get you added to the email list. I'm only going to send these out on a monthly basis. I don't plan on doing any more than that because I know these things can be annoying.

00:28:59 Courtney Brame: But yeah, you'll hear about monthly workshops. I'm bringing that in. That's another thing that I'm going to start doing. Uh I'll let you all contribute to podcast topics and do live podcast recordings and give you all access to be able to join me. Um I will offer updates to the survey that exists right now. Um and then I also have these book recommendations that are really supportive to people navigating herpes stigma. Uh, I also have Oh, yeah. Some of this is my little hit list. We're going to do um more of what you've seen in the past on social media. I'm just going to put in this newsletter because the algorithm is really eating up a lot of time being on social media. A lot of my time is being uh just wasted when I go and put all this detail into making these posts and then only 120 people see them on my story or only like 300 people see a real one and that's not working.

00:29:56 Courtney Brame: Like quality over quantity, yes. But when it comes to marketing, that is not the case. Uh, we're going to be adding yoga yoga meditations again because I've done yoga classes in the past and I where I messed up at is making an effort to try and bring other people in to do the thing that I can do myself, but I really just wanted to offer the opportunity for other people with herpes to get involved. I don't think I should be the only person seen who has herpes in this organization or on social media. Like I've had uh the yoga classes where someone else taught the yoga classes to people with herpes with an uh emphasis on uh self-compassion, um self-acceptance, things like that. So uh I'm certified. I can do the s*** myself. So be on the lookout for dates there. Uh the best thing to do is just join the newsletter. Just send me your email address and tell me you want in on the newsletter.

00:30:52 Courtney Brame: The conference. Um yeah, the something positive conference. Uh I got a call scheduled for Friday this week to where I'll be able to finalize the details of it. Um ticket pricing, um the speakers who are going to be there and then I'll have to start setting up those calls to make sure that I know what they're talking about so that I can begin to promote its newsletter and then on social media as well. Uh I am in the process of writing a Something Positive for Positive People book. If you are someone who's like, "Oh, it's 300 something podcast episodes. I don't want to listen to all of this." And you're more of a reader, I'll have that by 2024, the book will be done. I don't know if it'll be, you know, ready to be sold in places, but I'm doing my little homework assignments with my publisher and editor. And yeah, as progression happens, I'll give you all updates in the newsletter. Among the events I mentioned monthly workshops, I mentioned yoga, meditation sessions, and then there's also going to be cohorts of group therapy.

00:31:53 Courtney Brame: So, if we can get 12 people to show up for 12 weeks um and sign up and we raise enough money to be able to pay for one of these cohorts, that will be spectacular because this is another way of us being able to bring in donations to Something Positive for Positive People while also providing the service of being able to just pay a licensed mental health professional to facilitate um a group of people practicing being in community with one another as well as sharing experiences and talking about whatever it is that needs to be talked about with herpes, but in a structured format. Because my support groups that I run and facilitate go all over the place. You heard me talk on podcast episodes. You know that I can't really stay on track and work towards no individual outcome. Uh weekly podcast I want to record with a live audience. So I'll join my Google Hangouts. I'll hit the record button, make the link available and accessible to everybody.

00:32:50 Courtney Brame: And yeah, if you just want to sit in on the live podcast recording, you are more than welcome to. Patreon is where you can join in. So what I've been doing is a lot of the things that I have I'll just make available to Patreon subscribers like events and things like that. Um I'll do some conference ticket giveaways, event workshop giveaways. Uh but with the workshops and the events I just ask for proof of a donation and then if what you want to attend is available to you then you can just let me know and we'll get that thing going. All right. Um next is oh those are personal actually but yeah the support group meets Mondays at 6 pm Pacific time right now uh on a weekly basis. The last Monday of the month is generally open to the public. So, those are things that are all happening right now. So, when y'all donate, these are the kinds of things that I'm putting my time into.

00:33:52 Courtney Brame: And some of it requires money. And so, uh, the money can come from me. It can come from these donations. And I think that maybe I'm not doing a good job of asking for money for a specific thing. for perspective on Giving Tuesday. So, the month of October I raised $93 total… $93 in the month of October of 2023. That is embarrassing and most of that came from Patreon. Um, I talked to a lot of people in October. I asked a lot of people to make a donation after the fact like we'll have a long conversation and I'll say, "All right, well, if uh you found this valuable, please consider making a donation." And then, you know, a lot of them didn't. Um, in addition to that, like this month or on Giving Tuesday, which was yesterday, uh, from this recording, on Giving Tuesday, I made posts on social media. I put a few hours of time into creating these posts and making sure that the content was good, that the captions were good, and I got a $100 before I made the post, and then someone sent me $100 for Giving Tuesday.

00:35:05 Courtney Brame: So, we raised $200. Yay. On Giving Tuesday. But that came from two people. Out of a 10,000 podcast subscribers, out of 9,000 something Instagram followers, 2,000 Facebook friends, right? That goes to tell you how few people are able to see what I'm posting to my social media. And it's I ain't going to lie y'all. It's embarrassing. That's f****** embarrassing. I run a nonprofit that I've been running for 5 years and I had a month where I raised $93, but I have been fully functional in the organization. Do you know how f****** embarrassing that is? Like that is f****** embarrassing. I can't even just say it's embarrassing. Like that is one of the more embarrassing things. And I'm glad that I haven't had to tell anybody that. I made a joke about it on Instagram, but it ain't like anybody saw it for real. So there's that.

00:36:04 Courtney Brame: Um, but I know that I got to do better and this is part of my attempt to do better, which is to say, "Hey, here's where your donations are going." All right. All right. So, that's everything happening now. Uh, there's going to be much more of an emphasis on events, virtual events, and in-person events as well. Uh, I'm going to, uh, put together a workshop specifically for people in New York City. Uh what we'll do is we'll have some form of a workshop around kink and BDSM with HSV and speak to non- monogamy. I know a lot of people have been curious about that. I believe New York City is going to be a great place for us to facilitate such a thing. The event space is going to be about $2,900. There will be an afterparty that uh I'm going to talk to safe s*** today about um her hosting such a thing. Um, but I'll be responsible for the workshop fundraiser part.

00:37:00 Courtney Brame: And again, the venue space, uh, depending on when we do it, can be up to $4,000. So, $4,000 to book this space. Yeah, we got to- one to cover the cost and two people got to get paid, right? Um, but yeah, I want to be able to bring more community together. Like I see these support groups that exist that are more centered around being social and people are so willing to pay administrative fees to go to things like that and then fly to the place or drive to the place, carpool, communicate, collaborate and then have to pay for a hotel to stay for a couple of days. So all in all, you know, people are willing to spend like $1,000 on traveling to be able to be social with one another in these settings. And you know, I recognize that like I'm not there yet. I'm not at a place where I can just say, "Hey, you know, give me $50 and then we'll organize this whole weekend thing." And also like the the caliber of people

00:37:59 Courtney Brame: are different. Like I recognize that when I invite people who find me through the podcast into those spaces, they leave quickly because it's not representative of Something Positive for Positive People or Courtney. People aren't prioritizing their healing necessarily. Most of the priority is on alleviating the discomfort of stigma and just like partying it away. And what I'm practicing here is more about presence, more intentionality, and more being able to not need those types of communities. So, um, I'm bringing my community of, you know, people who are wanting to take a little bit of a different approach than what a lot of the existing herpes support groups have to offer. um for them. Okay. Uh big picture in the 15year span I do see Something Positive for Positive People. Maybe not with a physical location but with just like a a handful of people. I would like to have someone who is actively pursuing fundraising, like building um building relationships with people who do have money, who have some stake in this field, who want to see people get enrolled in therapy, who also want to see people uh have the kinds of relationships that they want to have and just go on to live better, happier, healthier lives.

00:39:28 Courtney Brame: You know, someone who can rub elbows with people like that and help contribute to just the organization running because I ain't going to lie y at 35 like I'm at that point now where I'm starting to think about family and kids and you know being in a relationship. These are all things that are top of mind now. And the way that I run Something Positive right now, I will not be able to manage no goddamn family and do this. So, I would like to make this, and I'm going to be real transparent to y'all. I want this to be my career until it's irrelevant. I want this to be it. I can't teach genital exams, work as a patient actor, also um try and teach yoga, and also like to go off on these side missions and try and get grant funding that more often than not doesn't happen. All my time can be allocated to all of these different directions. And you know, I was talking to my uh one of my friends earlier and he said this to me.

00:40:27 Courtney Brame: Uh well, he didn't say this verbatim, but this is what I heard. He was like, "You can't run around with the Contra spray gun. Like, you'll only do so little damage, but in a greater range of people, but when you focus that in and you get one of them better guns, like you do much more damage in a more focused area." And that's my problem, y'all. I am spread so thin. like I am 364 degrees spread thin like I'm open backwards and it's not just that I'm like leaking energy but it's also again that people are taking from that so that focus here uh is becoming more narrow intentionally so that by 15 years from now when I got that marketing director that money can also go to funds for somebody who can manage the website somebody who can edit the podcast and and support me in making social media posts and being more engaging and do more of the editing of the podcast cuz hey, I'm doing everything. I don't know if y'all noticed, but the quality of this podcast, some people like I bought a mic and I tried to do the professional thing and people are like, "Oh, you know, it doesn't sound as good." I go back to my phone and they're like,

00:41:36 Courtney Brame: "Oh, I can't believe that you know that new mic you got is really working. Like that's great." I was like, "Dude, I'm going back to what I did day one. I just place my phone on my lap and I start talking. That's what this is. Like, I'm trying, y'all. I really am. I'm trying. But I ain't going to lie to you. This s*** ain't sustainable. So, 2024, we're focusing more on events and I'm asking for money so that we can get to that by 2039, 240. And I know that that's a long way from now. Most of y'all probably like, "Oh, I'll be dead by then." Or, "Oh, I'll be in a relationship and I won't need Courtney or there should be a cure by then." I'm not baking on none of that s***. Like, I'm going to continue to do what it is that I'm doing until I can't do it anymore. And so that 15-year bigger picture plan, like I I've got one of one of the continual donors.

Evolving the Mission and Closing Thoughts

00:42:26 Courtney Brame: He's like, "Man, you should have a talk show, a TV show, radio show." And like I I've never thought about that, you know, until he said that s***. He said that. I was like, "Damn, could I do that? Could I interview people on TV and talk about this stuff? And it's like, f*** yeah, I can. Why not? You know, like why why can't I? You know, my favorite podcaster is Jordan Harbinger. And I remember when I first started listening to podcasts, the first podcast I listened to was The Art of Charm. And this was about how to get girls. That's what it started out as. And him and his homeboys, like they ran a business teaching dudes how to pick up women. And along the way, what it evolved into was, "Hey man, you have to be like the best version of yourself." And then he started talking to people about social

00:43:17 Courtney Brame: intelligence. And I started to pick up on that s***. And then like that mission no longer aligned for him. And he went off, well got fired actually. He got kicked off of his own s*** and then didn't know what he was going to do for a while and eventually had his own show interviewing people about social intelligence and like uh had become like a news person. He got his own radio show and now he's on a podcast network and he's doing all of these things and I very much like this is someone that I look up to. So, I've not just listened to his podcast, but listened to how he interviews people, how present he is, how well he does his research on his guests and things like that. And I've adopted so much of that. And I'm looking, you know, sort of as his like changeover being synonymous to my own changeover from uh exclusively interviewing people about herpes because it's become more about uh the person than their diagnosis.

00:44:15 Courtney Brame: And I'm also interviewing people about mental health as a whole. Like it, it's evolving. It's not just what it started out as. It's becoming something so much more. And Jordan Harbinger's audience evolved with him. And I'm hoping that mine evolves with me because I honestly have no desire to just keep talking about f****** herpes. I think we've heard every story there is to hear when it comes to a person's herpes diagnosis. And if I am to continue to do this for another seven years, all I'm doing is enabling y'all to not make any progress in your own day-to-day life. So, I'm focusing more on these real time things that you can tangibly do as a means of getting to a place of bringing in enough money to be able to start paying people to take some of this s*** off my hands so that I can be more focused so that I can work toward that bigger picture of operating virtually, having a staff, having people who will and are able to make things so much better for the organization so that it can be better.

00:45:19 Courtney Brame: There can be a much better quality to the way that you receive the information and the resources because when people talk to me directly like I ain't got no lack of confidence in my ability to support people and offer healing anymore. I used to have this insecurity about not being a licensed therapist and people coming to me including therapist for support and then you know me feeling like I have to tell them oh disclaimer I'm not a therapist or you should talk to this about your therapist and it's like f*** that. You don't need a license to heal. You don't need letters behind your name to offer healing to somebody. And I'm learning that as I continue to have conversations with people and uh navigate just the trenches of where people are. Like I'm I'm meeting people in the trenches and like I've developed, you know, strong legs to be able to jump out of them m************ like, "Oh, hey, you know, I'm here with you. Let's go. Like your legs are strong.

00:46:15 Courtney Brame: You're not broken. Your legs aren't broken. here. Let me show you that you can crawl. Let me show you that you can stand. Let me show you that you can walk. Let me show you that you can run. Let me show you that you can jump. Right? That's what this is. And it's so hard for me to put that s*** on paper when I'm applying for f****** grants. I just, I can't. That's not what they want to see. They want to see deliverables. They want to see numbers. They want to see involvement and engagement from the community. So, when I say I got 10,000 podcast subscribers and then only three people show up to these support group meetings where I'm regularly advertising on the podcast like, "Hey, here's what we're doing. Here's what we got." There's too much of an inconsistency there and I can't get the support that I need because

00:46:56 Courtney Brame: it's not coming from the people who are benefiting from the services. So, I'm sorry y'all. I got to stop doing free s***. That and that hurts to say. It hurts to say even when I be replying to people like of course there's exceptions. There was a young lady who trigger warning um 21 years old reached out to me and said that she had been sexually assaulted uh and she just found out that she had herpes. And it's like I'm not going to f****** deprive her of uh like some type of support in that moment. But everybody else like y'all can send in a f****** donation or something and be like, "Hey, I need to talk to you." and then we can do that. But like I'm not going to be an a******. I'm using discernment to do that. Um but yeah, like I would like for hospitals, emergency rooms to reference Something Positive as a legitimate resource. This is only, you know, in personal development and self-help, right?

00:47:54 Courtney Brame: Nobody else determines your value, just you. You the person, right? I cannot say that that's the same for running a business or even relationships really because the other person has to see you as valuable in order for you to have value. Right? I get it. I know what y'all mean. I know what these Instagram therapists and s*** be saying. But me seeing myself as valuable can only do so much. Me seeing my organization is valuable. I recognize that. I know it is. But I I it has no value to these organizations because the people impacted by it don't place value on it. And that's how the media works. The media only values that which we place value on. It's not that we value ourselves so much that we go on and we become you know what the media focuses on. That s*** don't work that way.

00:48:47 Courtney Brame: It's people have demonstrated that things that trigger them need to be uh focused on. So that's what the media does. And it's the same thing again for these medical facilities that uh you know when people get herpes and they're at an okay place, why not go in and say, "Hey, have you heard of this organization, Something Positive for Positive People? Yeah, you should really work with them." Or, "Hey, here's uh Courtney's information. Here's the website." like that support from the community that I'm serving is what's missing. Again, I mentioned this before, but I read uh from Good to Great. Um, which is about nonprofits. The most successful nonprofits have six things. I have five of those six things. Five of them six things, y'all. The only thing that I don't have is active involvement from enough people who are benefiting from the services of the organization. That's it. That's it. And I've been wondering since I read this book, I was like, you know what?

00:49:46 Courtney Brame: I think I can do it without that because that's why we're here. We're here because people are unable to support the organization. But then on the other hand of that, and I'm a very like “broad-thinking” person, on the other end of that spectrum, that could be the thing. But it also could just be that I'm making this s*** up. It's not that big of a deal. People with herpes aren't struggling enough to where it's important enough to pay for them to get therapy exclusively or for any of these resources. And herpes doesn't really have, you know, that much of an impact as I'm telling the world that it does or the people that I'm interviewing are saying that it does. That could be the case, right? But whatever the outcome is, like all I know is that I have to continue doing what I'm doing until I can't do it anymore generally because that's the kind of person I am. So all that said, man, 15 years from now, virtual organizations are accessible globally.

00:50:49 Courtney Brame: People are able to come in and get support in various ways by volunteers, people who have been vetted and are okay with their diagnosis. We give out internship hours. We have a few therapists on hand. um I'm making a good decent salary to be able to continue to just host the the the podcast, but take that shift into more of the self-help and uh public health realm to be able to, you know, get more opportunities to speak as well and be able to go to these conferences and share our experiences and conduct more research and surveys so that we can advocate for one consistent test that says positive for herpes, negative for herpes. none of that type one, type two s*** because honestly people don't give a f*** unless they have cold sores and they're like, "Oh, well, is it HSV1?" I don't give a f***. Like, you got herpes or you don't have it. Like, I wouldn't if I didn't have any herpes, I wouldn't want herpes from someone who's like, "Oh, it's just cold sores. It's type one.

00:51:47 Courtney Brame: It's fine. Everybody has that." If that's the case, then everybody got herpes. So, we don't need to f****** further segment it into, oh, if you've got type two, that means this, type one, you have that. No, my role is to destroy that narrative and make it to where everyone is tested annually for the same test that says positive or negative and you move forward from there. And then the next step is going to be better medication. All right? So, it will either be that uh this medication makes you undetectable or this medication serves as a way for people who don't have herpes to take it and they don't get it from another person. same s*** the HIV treatment has done. Why can't that be done for herpes? Well, there's a lot more money thrown at HIV. And these are like career fields where all this money is thrown at HIV. But anyways, I'm starting to ramble.

00:52:44 Courtney Brame: Um, a team of therapists where when people need therapy, I don't have to look for therapists. And again, I'm bringing this back. I'm going to make it work this time because I'm asking for money. I'm I'm demanding money uh in order to be able to put these cohorts together, in order to be able to have money in the organization, in order to be able to pay myself, in order to be able to continue to operate the necessary needs of the organization, um without it coming out of my pocket. Because when now at this point, like as I'm thinking about family and things like that, I'm not taking money out of my own pocket to pay for complete strangers who are just going to come and f****** and ghost me, metaphorically. That's not what I'm doing. I'm not doing that anymore. So, this is a nonprofit. It's an organization. I want to be seen as such. And social media ain't helping me no more.

00:53:36 Courtney Brame: So, I ain't got to deal with that, oh, you see me as a social media influencer s*** anymore. No, I'm an executive director of a 501c3 nonprofit organization with a mission. A mission to have a positive impact and healing for people who are struggling to find the herpes support that they need to navigate stigma. That's what we doing. That's where your money goes. Um and yeah, I do believe that there will come a time where Something Positive for Positive People is irrelevant as it operates now. That time is not in the foreseeable future. It's not in the next 15 years. So all of your investments are investing into the longevity of Something Positive for Positive People. If you haven't already, please take the survey spf.org/servey. If this compels you to donate listening to this episode, please do. You can do so on Patreon by joining that on a monthly basis and you don't have to worry about how much money is coming out or when it's coming out.

00:54:39 Courtney Brame: You can just set it and forget about it. If you donate at the $10 a month or more option, you get to participate in the weekly support group. Um, and the last Monday of the month, that support group is open to everybody. Uh, please visit spf.org/events in order to see what upcoming events there are. So, we will also have the conference coming up. We'll do monthly workshops. Join the newsletter, send me your email address, however you need to go about doing that so that I can add you to this list. I am working on getting to that 15-year plan, y'all. And it's becoming more and more clear the more that I become intentional with what it is that I'm doing here. So, I appreciate y'all. I love y'all. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. Shout out to you. Um and thank y'all. So all right, till next time.

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