I almost skipped this week, thinking I had nothing to say, but ended up recording a 53-minute episode that ties the previous one together. Taking a week off social media, recommended by a board member, was a great call. Implementing boundaries revealed how drained I was due to boundarilessness. In this episode, we discuss the freedom that comes from setting boundaries, illustrated by two write-in stories from attendees of the "Something Negative for Positive People" fundraiser. These stories highlight relatable situations where boundaries can make a significant impact.

The black indifference on my social media feed is disgusting, and I'm calling out status quo perpetuation from those hiding behind mutuality. I'm sharing publicly any hint of racism I encounter and calling people into this space because I'm tired of it. What is self-apathy, boundariness, and what does herpes have to do with these things besides highlighting them for us? Five people are enrolled in 12 therapy sessions with our partner therapist. I discuss my fear of success and how protecting my feelings from the world is sabotaging my attempts at connection. "Do you have feelings for me?" I was asked by my friend I do sex with, and I told her I don't. This question blew my mind and made me explore my emotional unavailability and the last time expressing feelings for someone hurt me. What do we want in a relationship and passion look like? If you want to be swept off your feet, what's the gift that person better come bearing with your name on it? Lastly, how does herpes highlight YOUR lower case self?

Internalized herpes stigma manifests as self-shaming and is often masked by behaviors like disclosing our HSV status to someone whose acceptance or approval holds little value. By "low risk," I mean that their response doesn't significantly impact our self-worth. We might seek to have our beliefs challenged or validated by their reaction. This episode will challenge those patterns in you. Check it out!

Taking lessons from negative experiences helps us uncover who we really are. At this event, I wanted to create a space where everyone could openly discuss herpes since, usually, there’s no reason to at events where we all are already positive. By reframing our worst HSV experiences and hearing others' perspectives, we can make talking about it outside the groups easier.

We answer listener questions about men and HSV, addressing masculinity and the unique challenges men face with a herpes diagnosis. Topics include how men deal with herpes differently, disclosure leading to 'me too' moments, outbreak frequency in penis vs. vulva owners, and the importance of communication in sexual relationships. Enjoy the episode and consider donating to SPFPP to support therapy services for people after their diagnosis.

Have you ever dismissed your intuition as prejudice? Our guest this week shares their story of ignoring red flags, leading to Urgent Care for chlamydia treatment twice in one week. This episode highlights stigma in healthcare, where providers avoided discussing sexual health. Learn the importance of trusting your intuition and asking questions when something feels off.

The human behind the Instagram page, @MakeGodGayAgain, interviews the founder of Something Positive for Positive People, a 501c3 nonprofit organization advocating for therapy/counseling services for people navigating STI stigma. There were playful, fun questions and some more serious ones for balance. AND the word "mythunderstandings" is going to be a thing as a result of this.

Don't have the strength to help yourself? Help someone else who may be in the same position you are and see how it changes you. It's far simpler to do for others than for ourselves oftentimes. Our guest this week shares how she overcame a suicide attempt after her herpes diagnosis and healed through support from supporting others. There's a gift for us in giving that's waiting on us.

Monica Laipple is the host of the podcast, "Invisible Not Broken," a chronic illness and disability podcast. Monica and I connected on a joint interview with Lauren Selfridge's podcast, "This is Not What I Ordered," and clicked right away. I asked Monica how she keeps pushing despite her body's constant rejection of her will and ideas because there is much to learn from her experience with rejection. Her body is rejecting her rather than how a person living with herpes may reject their body. The perspective here is amazing, and I hope you take away something that connects with you.

If you didn't have herpes, would you still be with the person you're with right now? How many of us were in this position or are currently in this position where we'd rather have toxic companionship over a healthy relationship with ourselves? We stay in these relationships because we are concerned about what others will think, but what if the roles were reversed with a loved one? We'd tell them to get out of the relationship and we'd support them. We discuss public disclosure and that it's okay to NOT want to do it. In relationships, when you see those red flags, don't ever ignore them because there's something there. Side note: we mentioned our guest's YouTube Channel on herpes; from the date of our recording back in March, she has chosen to remove it.

Technology has a life cycle and the ol' iPhone 7+ Google Chromebook combo I've used for the last three years are no more. We took in listener questions including how I contracted herpes, managing herpes outbreaks, pushing away love, and feeling sexy after a herpes diagnosis. Until I get this new process down, I'll do solo episodes with questions. This solo show, I talk about my dad and therapy.

Friends! How many of us have them?Brenda Emily (@BrendaEmily on Instagram) is an HIV survivor who did not contract it sexually as one may assume. We discuss some of her experiences with hookups and rejection as someone navigating the dating world with HIV and cerebral palsy. We touch on HIV criminalization laws, despite the U equals U campaign, being more strict than the criminalization of rape. There's some overlap in herpes and HIV stigma that we address. Overall, we can let others mistake our being empowered for intimidating. Those drawn to us will affirm our being empowered whereas those who find us intimidating well, are just intimidated.

I get excited when I connect with people I see myself in. Prince joins us to talk about his experience battling suicide ideation after his herpes diagnosis. As a member of the polyamorous community, we get his backstory about opening that conversation up with his partner who when he did, she expressed that she didn't think she was monogamous. We talk about some of the stigma prevalence of HSV in the polyamorous community and how a partner may manipulate us by using our status to control us. One major takeaway is that no relationship style is better or worse than another, there's only honest relationships and dishonest ones. Hearing from a man in the polyamorous community living with herpes shows us that our diagnosis just isn't the end for us. Join us for this insightful conversation.

White people are currently asking the question, "What can I do?" In reference to people with conditions, we use people-first language, so applying that here, you are a person with whiteness. Don't question your humanity, your natural instinct to see the human in another human. Question your perpetual use of your whiteness. YOU have to look at HOW and WHERE it is being put to use. When you ask, "What can I do?", that shouldn't even be a question a human has to ask about injustices done to other humans. There shouldn't be questioning at all, only reflection on the use of your inherited whiteness in a time where those without whiteness are suffering because of it.

In this episode of Something Positive for Positive People, we explore the critical role of healthcare providers in shaping patients' emotional responses to their herpes diagnoses. We discuss the importance of equipping providers with consistent, honest resources to empower them in delivering empathetic diagnoses and fostering patient confidence for future disclosures. Featuring tools from the American Sexual Health Association, this episode provides invaluable insights for both patients and providers.

People use the most shameful parts of themselves as a source of power

In this episode, we finally welcome Laureen HD, whose YouTube channel was a pivotal resource for many after a herpes diagnosis. Laureen and Courtney delve into societal discomfort with silence, sharing dating stories, the challenges of rejection, and the power of preferences. They also explore why Laureen started her channel, the importance of informed public disclosure, and maintaining consistency through an obsession with truth.

If you're unsure about publicly disclosing your herpes status online, this episode is for you. Our guest shares her experiences and challenges the assumption that public disclosure always leads to rejection. Discover the three possible responses: "me too," "no thanks," or "tell me how we can be safe moving forward," and learn why liberation isn't always tied to public disclosure.

Our guest shares the empowering decision to publicly disclose her herpes diagnosis, emphasizing the importance of a great support system or self-reflection through journaling. A herpes diagnosis carries an energetic weight, often influenced by how the first person receives our disclosure. Learn how to handle this weight and find strength in yourself, just like our guest.

In this episode, a New York-based healthcare worker with HSV shares her experience testing positive for COVID-19. We delve into the stigma similarities between the two viruses and how the pandemic re-triggered her feelings. We explore the future of virus disclosure and health histories as we navigate this new landscape. Listen to part 1 of this discussion and send in your questions for our guest's return.